:::::P.S I Love U::::

hahahha...i wanted to write this blog as soon as i finished reading it a couple of weeks ago..but only God knows how lazy i am when it comes to "writing".hahhahahaha.but still i want to do it..it is not clearly my passion but i know someday i will benefit from this. FULL STOP..heheheh back to what i wanted to write couples of weeks ago---------->P.S. I LOVE YOU...it is a novel by CECELIA AHERN and i think it was published in 2000-ish...hahhahaahh...sorry but i don't quite remember the date and i don't quite bother with it's publishing date..hahahhaa..(lazy me). this novel had made me cry my heart out on every single page that i read..i don't know why but maybe i'm just picturing myself being in the same situation like the main character..gosh i don't know what will i do when it happens to me..i don't want to live alone no more....isk..isk..isk.. ok ok..back to business!!! this novel is about a lady (Holly) whom the death of her husband has shattered all the lives and hopes that she has been building and clinging for the entire of her very life..Her husband Gerry was her best friend, lover and soul mate to her and when she lost him to the hands of God, she lost everything that makes her day.but her husband has thoughtfully prepared :gifts" for her so as to gives him some boost to carry on with her life. the gifts are the 10 mysterious envelopes and in each envelope each envelope contains a little message with a task for her to do – and each note is signed “PS, I love you. ooooohhhhh... this is the very touching part in this entire novel. i never would have thought that there will be a person who thinks like Gerry..he actually knows her wife so well that he has the power to be her guardian angel up from above, guides her and at the same time makes her feel his love.. LOVE WILL NEVER DIE..IT WILL JUST GO STRONGER EACH DAY PASSES BY OR IT WILL just FADE AWAY... these 10 envelopes have succeeded in making Holly to keep holding on to her life on her own and in fact makes her go stronger and braver in embracing live ahead.. humm.. enough of the commentary part...but whoever shall read this piece of blog should try to read this piece of work too...i mean this novel---->P.S. i love you... before it's too late i better said i love you in every single blog that i will write..n i reckon YOU should tooo..hehehehe..just in case..we will never know when will our time be..

and anyway, just a quick info..there is a movie made out of this novel with the same title..but disappointedly for me, i don't like the actors/actresses..i never have pictured the characters will be like those people..sorry guys..it is just only my HUMBLE opinion on this matter..don't have the opportunity to watch it yet but surely i will..(this part of opinion is based on my judgment watching this movie trailer) P.S.::i love you mama, babah, ninie, okie, ajwad, azrol n last but not least my friends..thanx for always be there for me...

AaiiiiiiIiHHHHHhhhhhhh

aiihh..don't know where to start and what words to begin with.i guess i have to start this blog using "aiiiiHHHHHHH'

aihhhh...this is the word that i have been using since i first stepped my feet in Malaysia last year and until now (heheh...even more now). not that i didn't like my home country but i just knew at that time that when i step my feet once again in Brissy, lots of things will come into my way...not just academic thingy but also all the things around me..

suddenly i remember the incident that happened last year during hari raya. it was my first time celebrating this festival away from my family and it was aslo my first time being "a-bad-mouth-girl-that-speaks-out-the-hidden-truth"..gosh..what a nickname!!! but it's me..whether u like it or not. come back to what i wanted to tell u earlier (about all the things that worry me ='( lorrr ). ever since the first hour i was in brisbane last week and until this very moment, i keep on thinking about FRIENDS..

there are certainly people who we can trust and cherish them as our friends and some are just don't. the incident that i told u earlier had made me realize whom my friends are..sometimes, even the closest buddy that we have can turn us down and become our most-great-enemy. aiiiihhhh..this is the second thing that worry me the most after all the academic stuff takes place.the reason behind all my worries about friends is i don't have anybody else in brisbane except for my friends.i know i still have my family wherever i may be, but still in reality i have nobody here except my friends.i'm hoping that the incident will never recur again.EVER...but still,if i have to say something that i believe it's true, i have to say it.pls pray for me that those things that i believe are true never reappear at least when i am still in brisbane!!!!!

other than the friend thing, i also have issues with my love life..aiiiihhhhh..i hope we (azrol+ i) can still going strong whatever odds may come on our way..heheh. AMIN...
i love azrol more than he will ever know and more than anyone else around me could have ever guessed. i know loving someone, shouldn't be kept as a secret, BUT this is not a secret, this is my own way of loving someone i truly loved and cherished..=) come back to azrol thing, i'm worried that his work will be the reason that gonna separate us apart..ooooohhhhhh NOOOOO!!!!! i don't want any other man to replace my sweet-other-half and i hope we will be together until the day one of us has to take our last breath on this world..AMIN..above that, i also pray that Allah will give both of us 'ketetapan hati'. don't let us forget each other and please make our hearts to still be one.

humm.stop here....bye

crush..

i decide to write blogs after reading one of my friends' blogs..they are quite touching and i'm impressed by the way she wrote them..though i'm not good at expressing my thoughts clearly, i hope by writing blogs, i can ease the pain and sorrow that i feel deep down in my heart n i hope by doing this, i can tell my life stories to those who by a fluke happens to read my blog..

i guess i'll start my blog with a story about my first crush that i did not even know for what reasons i fell for him..hahahahah..sounds crazy but it's true..i happened to know this guy when i first registered at my new school in Gurun when i was in form 4..at first, i was reluctant to transfer from my previous school in Sik cause i hated to lost contact with my friends in Sik..but, suprisingly, when i first entered the Gurun school gate for the first time, i saw him..and i knew from that very moment i would never ever wish to leave this new school ever again..hahhaha..new and fresh spirit in me..my PMR result wasn't too bad i guess so (but i knew it broke my parent's heart..let's forget about that for the time being..)and i was offered to do civil engineering in Teknik Alor Setar..as i said earlier, i never wished to leave this school, so i made excuses, excuses & excuses to my family and friends so that i could be saved from going to school that i never wanted to.hahahaha..

From the very moment i rejected the offer, the feelings in me started to bloom..(notice that i was in form 4 at that time)..oops, i almost forgot to tell you about him..he was in the technology class, quite tall (much much taller than me), considerably fair i guess and somewhat handsome..(but i did not like him because he is handsome,i just did not know)..the feelings that i had in me was a secret between me and myself only..no one ever knew this secret until my best friend, G-Ha, discovered about it when i was in form 5, after seeing the looks that i had in my face whenever people talk about him and whenever i accidentally met him..so, as a result of my secretive behaviour i was given a sweet punishment by G-ha..G-ha, who happened to live in front of my crush's house, decided to tell him about my hidden feelings..hahahhaha..i was not happy with it at first but after receiving a good response from him, i felt thankful to G-ha who indirectly helped me to voice out my suara hati..heheh..

our so-called relationship went well at first but suddenly it changed after i got offer from ove.c TESL..he started to detach himself from me..he started to treat me like a fool..and a fool i was..i continued to like him until i did not know when..during this time of foolishness, i broke many hearts and shed many tears..i lost myself in the paths that i chose to traveled by myself..i forgot who i was and what i was for..luckily i found azrol..i started to build back my dispirited world..it is hard..but i survive it..no more crush this year..i don't like him anymore..i'm free again..i'm in love with azrol now..

p/s:sorry about my first blog..i don't know what to write and how to write..i hope i'll get better for my second blog later..