::what's wrong with that face?::

what's wrong with that face???

the one thing that causes so much troubles..so much heartbreak.sheds too many tears..causes so many insomniac to me..emm..

because..HE IS AZROL LOOK-ALIKE..

how painful life can be when the one person that you once loved the most in the world appears in front of your own eyes when you really really want to "erase" him from your memory.
how cruel life can be when you see the look-alike is going out with someone else...you know it is none of your business but still seeing the face tears your heart apart..
i don't want to see your face ever again.not even your look-alike..i don't want anything to do with him..with you..or everything revolves around you..

huhu..it is okay..another 2 months left..then..i'll be busy with my new school. then, i'll be posted in -don't-know-where..

but it's okay...new atmosphere...new surrounding...new heart...new life...

how i wish...

how i wish...

• i don't have to feel the heartbreak.
• i don't know him from the beginning of my blossoming teenage years.
• i don't know how was it feel to be loved and love someone else.
• i don't even know his phone number.
• i don't even meet him in the first place..
• i don't know chipsmore.
• i don't even get attached with him.
• i don't know his history.
• i don't know his ex-es
• i don't add them in my friendster.
• i don't feel the insecurity.
• i don't feel like i'm not good enough to be with him.
• i don't feel less beauty than she is.
• i don't have to seek assuring words from my friends saying i'm a lot better than she is even though i know, deep down, what matters the most is how he feels towards me. what he thinks of me..
• I DON'T HAVE TO BE THE SECOND BEST IN HIS LIFE. ='(

lotsa crying done..em not sure what will be happening next..i'm trying to emotionally detach myself from him..trying not to develop any more feeling..let the feeling stay as it is now..=(

::promises::

memm..several promises have been made by myself early on this year..so far, still not able to keep those promises fully..i mean sometimes rsa cam dh tunaikan, but at times i really feel i go against the promises..humm..

1. nk diet..tp bukanla xmkan..just xnk mkn nsi mlam2..
2.xnk call azrol lg..but the last time i called him, i asked him for my money back..and so..i broke the promises i made with my mom


a. not to remember him ever again.
b. not to call him even if i have to die alone in my bed.hahahha..exagerating...i know..tp sje je nk kasi lebih umppphhhh..hahhaha..


3. nk publish one entry at least per day..tp tula.tgkla..bulan 5 bru start nk bt blog..umm..cmne?fail x?
4.rsa bersyukur n bhagia setiap hari yg aku lalui xkra with or without love..kna prepare for the worst..but alhamdulillah, now, ada chipsmore, i can breathe easy one more time..huhu..
5. nk bt asignmnt awl sbb xnk rush..so blh rehat..but so far, until the very last assignment i still did the last minute work..and, so far xtau lg result dia cmne..aihhhh..prepare2..
6. xnk boros..n this is the promise that i wont be able to keep until forever i guess..aaaaaaaaaaaaa..cmne..duet sudaaaa tiada...=(....hahhahahha..pdan muka..

that's all..mlas nk tlis dh..tkar sejdah dh terbentang..tp aku dok blogging plak..em.gtg

missing chipsmore..=(

happy mother's day..

mama.. i love you..
thanx for everything that you've done to me..
love you..love you..love you..
love you more than anything in this world..
mmmuuuaaaxxxxxxx..=)

~emm..yesterday was the worst day of my life~

• uhuk2..bgn pg rsa nk demam lg..
• astu mlas nk baca buku.
• rsa cam nk tdo je tiap msa..
• xnk bgn..n xnk amik exam..parah okesss...
• astu missing my chipsmore..again for what..zillionth times..hehhehe..(ada ke zillion)
• emm..astu bt plan mkan ngn ida bebeh..nk g amcorp.mkn2 kt rakthai..
• ok..this is the start of the bad start for today....
• looking for my purse..trying to find:

1. money
2. i.c

• both went missing..the first one, i did find some money..just a bit but enuff for me to go n eat at amcorp..but the second one, was totally missing..could not find it anywhere in my safe-keeping..meroyan okess..dh serabut pala ak cri i.c..pntg tau..like my chipsmore said..xde i.c xde kwin..haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...so saiko..
• tp yg peliknya, i went to amcorp even though i was officially at that time illegal immigrant.hahhaha..elok kena tgkap..jd minah endon aku..huhu..i went there..ate until my stomach hurt and ached..huhu..came back..could not sleep because of my missing i.c..humm..decided to keep it as a secret from my mother..but told her anyway..oo Gosh..could keep a secret from her..not even a bit..emm..meroyan stage 3 where i had to read for today exam.could not sleep until 4 a.m. this morning and sat in the examination hall with half of my name already written in the repeat list..oo my GOD..why?

emm..adkah sbb ak ska bergosip..so xley jwab exam?uhuk2..sedeynya..=(

credit to Jannah..hehhe..for making the skin of my blog..a REALITY..huhu=)

emm.. i tried to upload the skin as i told u before for two hours..but to my dismay, when i uploaded the skin, the words went missing and when i restored back the words, the skin had gone to unknown place..so frustrating ok..so, i ym-ed jannah my rumate whom at that time was not here by my side to help me with this blog thingy..so she told me..

.."xpela sue..xyah ssah2..nnt jan tlg tgkkn..esok pg jan dh blik.."..so i told her.. "ok jan..come back as soon as possible..missing u.."

heheh..so, earlier that morning she came back to this room..but i did not ask her since i know she was pretty busy at that time..so i waited..but when maghrib came and she asked me.."sue, biar jan tgk2 kn blog sue ek"..i felt overwhelmed.."yes..finally i can have the skin potrayed on my blog"..huhu..

n here it is..hsil usaha jan yg xspi 5 mnt..hahhaha..so, the post before where i said, cute x tu, msa tu xde apa lg blog ni..empty..nmpk itik je..hahhahah..sorry..tp nk jgk credit tu...hhahah.=)

uhuk2..demam..i hate it..='(

uhuk2..simptom2 demam yg biasa jd pda aku:

• lenguh-lenguh badan
• sakit kerongkong
• xlrat nk bgun
• tkut kena air..sejuk!!!
• kurang makan skit je..uhuk2
• asyik rsa nk bad mood
• emm..penin kpla..
• xlarat..

emm..tu je kot simptom2 demam aku..tp xpuas hati..sbbnya nk exam lg seari..i can't afford to be sick at this point of time..cmne?cmne?emm..xpe kot..sbb td dh srh dat g beli panadol..so mlm ni kna rhat awl la..astu td yennah ckap mgkn terkena swine flu..keji la mulut cik yenn tu..uhuk2..rsa nk blik umah..ni konfem blik ni..=(

emmm..new start for this year

hehhehe..a bit late to start now..but it is better late or never rite???hehhe..lotsa things happen to me this time around..dunno where to start..but i will start first by telling u how off task i am at this point of time..too off task to be told actually.hheheh..rite now, i shud be studying for the coming exam..not much time though..only few hours left..but hey, i'm only human and lazy human being like me, often off task..hheheh...i tried to change the layout for my blog almost for two hours..imagine what could i read during that two hours?ample rite..but nope..i did not do anything..aaaaaaaaaaaaa....it feels so rite when you do other things other than studying but if feels so tiring when u have to read books..especially for exam..=(

so, here it is..my end product of two beneficial hours..hahhaha..cute x?


p/s: missing chipsmore..waiting for the call..hehhe