::it is hard::

u know, sometimes frenship can be hard..we never know what will happen in this relationship as we do not have total control in this relationship..n it is even harder when you have to choose btween two sides..i do not want to be burdened by this responsibilities as i think that you are all my frens..my dear frens..you are my frens because you are by my side when things are not going my way so i value all of you for that..so, please...stop being like this..can't we just be frens like we used to be before..=)

~to U~

11/10/08

emm..sbnrnya kn..ssah nk gtau kt awk camne n apa yg sy rsa..sshla bila kta xknal sesama sendri n sy pun xtau smada sy blh pcya kn awk ke x..tu la msalhnya kn..2 ari b4 awk blik, awk ada ckap awk sukakan sy..tp mslahnya..lpas tu awk dh blik tmpat awk..n msa tu awk sendri ckap awk xkn blh cntct sy..memula sy ingt sy akn ok..tp x sbnrnya..sbnrnya, lpas awk bgtau aritu, sy dh rsa pelik2 ngan awk..sy rsa mgkn sy suka awk jgk..tp sy sendri pun xpsti..sy tkt nk berhadapan ngan prasaan sy sendri..sbbnya sy xtau pun apa yg awk rsa sbb awk tggl sy mcm tu je..dgn kta2, klu awk rndu awk akn msg mak sy mnta no sy dr dia..tp camne klu awk x rndu lpas tu??camne klu lpas awk xcntct ngan sy awk xrndu pun ngan sy..awk xigt pun sy n msa tu bru awk sdr sbnrnya awk sndri dh slah pham nagn prasaan awk sndri..tp sy xtau sbnrnya awk dh sdar yg awk slh..n sy trus je suka awk..mcm mna tu?skang ni..sy nk tdo pun xblh..asyik pk bnda bkn2 ni..sy pk kn lebih baik klu sy xtau pn bnda tu..sy rsa awk xptt bgtau sy bnda tu sbb awk akn tgglkan sy lpas tu..awk bkn ada ngn sy utk tjk kn pda sy bhwa awk ikhlas nk knal ngan sy..so sy xtau..sy pening kpla sbb bnda ni..sy xknal awl so sy xleh nk bt judgemt ats awk..sy xtau apa yg awk pk psal sy..kranya dlm keadaan ni, klu sy plh dia or awk pun, sy still akn jd jht..so, adakah awk dh bersedia nk kwan ngn sy yg jht ni?apa kta kwan2 awk?awk ada pk x sume bnda tu?mst kwan awk xkn suka sy..btul x?sape nk suka org cam sy..mgkn mula2 awk akn suka sy..tp lma2 bla awk dgr dr kwan2 awk..awk pn lmbt laun xkn suka sy lg..sy dh pk bnda ni sume awk..awk xamik risiko ni sorg2..sy pun ada jgk dlm bnda ni..n sy xtau mcm mna sy nk bgtau awk, btapa kompleks nye situasi skang ni..

apa mksd awk bla awk ckap awk suka sy?apa mksdnya?adakah awk akn trus berusha utk memenangi hati sya or berserah je sbb awk dh tau sy dh ada yg lain?atau apa?sy xpham bila awk ckap awk suka sy tu..sy xtau apa yg awk pk..ok..klu dh lpas awk ckap apa yg awk rsa..awak suka sya..lpas tu apa?awk bt apa ngn feeling awk tu?awk bt apa ngn sy?sy ptt bt mcm mna?sy ptt jd apa?sy ptt lyn awk mcm mna?sy ptt ckap apa?sy xtau..sbb sy xpahm bila awk ckap mcm tu pd sya..skang ni awk xde..sy xtau nk tnya sape..so bila awk ckap awk suka sy, smpi bila2 ke awk akn suka sy??or msa cti ni awk blh brubah fkran ke x?awk akn stop suka sy ke x?awk akn bgtau sy x bila awk xska sy?bla awk akn cntct sy?adakah bila awk xcntct sy tu mksdnya awk dh xsuka sy?sy xtau.sy xtau bnda2 tu.n sy rsa sy perlu tau sume bnda2 tu...sy rsa nk ngs je skang..sbb apa yg sy pk skang mcm awk ckap awk suka n that's it..awk nk bg sy serabut.n awk nk bg sy suka awk n biar je..camne tu.tu je..sy xtau apa yg awk pk..seyesly rsa nk ngs je..haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

::~i HAVE to put an end to it~::

the girl in the story told me that it is hard to be in her position..and i asked why???she said to me that..it is hard because it never ever happened before..this is the first time evr she meets with this kind of situation..after a long story session, i asked her to think about it thoroughly and decide what is the best for her..then, she told me that, she has put an end to the story and shewill go back and live my life normally as before..she doesn't want to hurt anyone..so, when the time comes, it will comes and she said that let not think about it first..she will deal the matter when the matter confronts her..she said that she doesn't want to force something that is just likely a "misunderstanding" and turn it into "reality"..so, i believe her and i wish her well..

Good luck dear!!!

::it is indeed a SURPRISE::

i like the surprise..it told me something that i did not hear for quite a long time..or i never heard of such things mentioned to me..it was my first time..and i'm still in the cloud nine..ngeh2..happppppppppppppppppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..but, if the surprise was a little bit earlier, maybe i could turn it into reality...i really like it!!!..

::~membuat amal..amal ke~::ngeh2

okies..ari rabu aritu..semalam la ye..aku pnye smgt bgn awl..xdela awl sgt..tp awl dua jam dr kebiasaan..aku nk g tnya st. vinnies kot2le ada yg boleh aku bntu..
sebenrnya, dlam hati nervous..kot2 le aku tetiba xleh ckap org putih ke..apa ke..yela..bukan nye korg xtau..aku mlas nk ckap omputih ni..n bila perlu ckap, mula la aku gelabah bewak..(biawak)..
aku pun bersiap seadanya..xnkla pki bju glamor sgt..kunun, sbb kdai tu cam kedai2 charity tu..so cam kena humble la..mekap pun xok..aku hnya apply lipbalm je..punya la nk bg nmpak natural gitew......heheh..
dh siap nk kuar, hujan plak..tp xpela..mmg dlm beg ada pyg pun..so trusla berjlan ke st. vinnies tu..msuk dlam tu..aku tgk ada sorg sepet ni tgh lyn customer kt counter..xkn aku nk p mnyibuk kt situ plak..aku pun bt2la tgk brg..tgk buku..n yg bestnya..ada stu buku kt situ yg best..chris manby (girls meet ape)..korg tau brapa hrga buku tu kt situ?2 dol je!!!!keji kn hrga die..mrah gile...tp aku xnkla shppng lg..kunun, aku budget..nnt bila aku dh memvolunteerkn diri aku kt sini, aku belila..
dh abis sepet tu lyan customer tu..aku pn dgn muka xmlu nye pergila tnya.."emm, do u need any volunteers right now"...sepet tu ckap.."yes, but i'll call the manager first"..so aku pun tggu lg la kt situ..tgk jam loceng plak..comel..10dol je..mrah kn..gila lah..astu manager dia dtg..smbg2 skit..tnya aku bt apa..dok kt mna..nape nk volunteer..astu tnya details aku..last2 dia ckap.."tgkla..nnt dia call sbb dia nk kena tgk roster dia dlu..so, mgkn ari khmis or jumaat ni i call"..so basically ni la yg aku dpt semlam..uncertainty..tp xpela..papepun aku dh try p tnya..so kalu xblh nk tlg, xblh la kn..camtu jela..heheh..
astu aku apa lg,,g jln2 west end borong bju la..hahahhaha..rsa gmbra plak sbb bt bnda baik..so, reward dri sendri..hehhehe..

for now, i'm still waiting for her call..tgkla camne..klu dpt, xdela buhsan aku dok kt umah nii

::~sy yg sentap~::

dear blog,
arini..aku sgt sentap..tp aku rsa aku sentap bnda yg btul..n they should be ashamed for what they had done..hahhaha..
n, interstingly, bla aku xbt jhat, org lain akn sentiasa bt jht kt aku..so, apa yg ptt aku blja skang ni?pttkah aku berbuat jht selalu??humm..i think i have to do this..i have no choice..poor me..
n, yg peliknya..aku ni mmg xdlahirkan dgn kapasiti untk kissing asses..pelik kn..rmai org yg aku jmpa suka kiss ass..yep..u r right..kiss ass..klu even dia mrah pun, dia ttp play it cool..aku cam wonder, hti dia ni bt dri apa??xde rsa nk own up to die nye feeling ke??umm..tp yg pntg..org2 camni, siap kiss some asses org yg bt die sentap tu lg..yg tu lg aku pelik..mcm mna bnda blh jd camtu kn..aihh..pelik2..tp anyway..itu yg bt org suka org2 camni n sort of despise org2 cam aku..tp xpe..kita blh hdp tnpa org2 mcm ni..ngeh2..

sorryla..utk msa beberapa arini, mood aku akn mnjadi tdak elok..sgt tdak elok..tp..tula kn..dh ada org yg menyentapkan aku..hrusla kn aku sentap blik..bnda tu xyah ckap pun ptt dh pndi pk..

tp untuk meredakan marah aku ni, esok aku nk p bt amal bkti kt st. vinnies..i knw mny people will doubt this..tp aku akn prove kpada org2 ni bhwa aku akn bt apa yg aku kta..not like some people who do not own up to his/her own word..so..basically, nk g bt keja amal tu, cam challenge for aku..i will take the challenge..SO,bring it on to the table baby!!!

::~hipokrit~::

apa tu hipokrit???ada bnyak kamus yg boleh jelaskan mksud hipokrit ni..tp dlm entry kali ni, aku nk jelaskan hipokrit tu berdasarkn apa yg aku rsa..so, mksud hipokrit kali ni adalah di bwah tajaan SUFYANA..ngeh2..

bg aku, hipokrit tu adlah bersikap baik kpada org yg kta xsuka..mksud bersikap baik ni bnyak..apa2 perbuatan yg baik..itulah bersikap baik..dr xtnjuk muka keji hggalah kluar ngan org yg kta xsuka..so, bnykla..ikut degree..hipokrit ni ikot degree jgk..kdg2, ada org yg thap hipokrit dia smpai melambung tggi, yg sggp kiss some asses itu yg maha hipokrit la..emm..xtaula kn mcm mna....tp ye..pape pun aku mgaku..kdg2 aku kena jd hipokrit..aku hrus..I HAVE TO BE HIPOCRITE.. bkan apa..nk berfungsi dlm dunia ni..mst kna hipokrit..tp thap hipokrit aku xde smpi melambng tggi mcm sesetgah org..kira thap hipokrit aku hnya membolehkan aku membuat kerja..bukanla smpi dikatakan angelic..haaaaaaa

bg aku, kalu aku xsuka, aku rela je kta tros trg.,.biar sume org jelas ngan apa yg aku rsa..klu aku syg, aku ckap aku syg..kalu aku sedih, aku ckap aku sedih..kalu aku gedixx, aku ckap aku gedix.kalu aku mrah, ini lg jelas,aku akn ckap je aku mrah..or xckap lgsg ngn org tu..sentapp okess...so, itula diri aku..

tp kengkadang ni ada org self-confessed kunun xckap blakang..kunun cool..kunun macho..padahal,blkang kta xtau apa dia ckap kn..tp tula kn dunia..pnuh dgn hipokrasi..skang ni, at the moment, aku berasa sentap ngan org..n i choose to ignore them..xsusah..jdkn dri aku invisible n butakan mta je..yg plg pntg, aku sentiasa tau, aku blh hdp je tnpa org2 tersebut..bukan susah pun..

xdela selama aku hdup kt sini, aku mkan pun dieorg tggung..xpenah okes..nk kta bt asgnmnt mnta idea dia..xjgk..so, basically, aku blh je hdp dgn selesa kalu xde org ini dlm hdp aku..so, klu aku xckap pun or xtgr pn org ni, basically xde apa yg akn terjadi..bnyak lg org yg blh aku tgr..

n for that org, jg2 la..sbb u won't know who ur true friends are until the day, you got the spot on you..msa tu, nnt bru ko tau sape kwan ko sbnrnya..tp basically, org tu pun dh pnah rsa bnda2 camni..so, xpyahla aku nk bg pergtan lg..die pun tau apa rsanya kalu org backstab kn..

i'm used to this backstabbing idea..so, basically, aku cpat je keluarkan force aku blik..n i believe, org yg bt slah akn tersa slah jgk akhrnya..so, biar lmbt ke cpat ke bnda tu..saat rsa slah tu akn smpi jgk..so, i'm fine with it..

utk kli ni, it's not even my fault..so, aku xrsa the urge aku nk mnta maaf or jd hipokrit ngn org tu.nk sondol2 muka aku kt buntut dia supya dia rsa gmbra bt aku xgmbra..so, basically, kli ni aku nk org tu tau aku mrah n sentap..biarla..xrugi pun..n utk kli ni, aku xnk jd hipokrit..bla aku mrah, i say it out loud aku mrah..

n most importantly, dear readers, i hate liars..n org tu ada tpu aku..so, i'm done with him..
n..to org itu jgk..watch ur back!!!

::~apa itu cinta~::

emm..semalam aku de dapat stu blog ni..bila aku bca, mula2 rsa cam nak muntah..aku xpham nape dia guna bhsa kedah yg ksar camtu..dh tu cerpen yg aku bca tu disiarkan kt utusan malaysia plak tu..dlam otak aku, aku pk, mcm mna la agknya cerpen ni boleh tersiar..aku gagahi jgk diri aku untuk aku bca cerpen tu...last2 kali, brula aku pham, apa yg cuba disampaikan oleh penulis..cra dia cam selamba tp ckup dgn mkna..dia tnya apa itu cinta..dia discuss certa n pemahaman ni dri dua contexts..stu, org2 tua yg umor 60 thun tu..yg duduk kt kampung2 n stu lgi, kapel yg muda, yg "kunun"nya tengah hangat bercinta..apa itu cinta????

obviously, org tua kt kampung tu xtau apa itu cinta..n org yg muda, siap berbhasa2 bunga lg nk definasikan apa itu cinta..tp kenyataannya, yg aku pham la..sbnrnya cinta tu xblh nk explain pun ngan words..kita xdapat nk cri the exact words to describe cinta..camtu jgkla klu nk srh aku describe cinta...aku pun xtau aku nk jwab apa..jwapan yg mgkn terkeluar dri mulut aku..mgkn cam sayang..pengorbanan..camtu2 la..

tp bila aku dh bca cerpen tu..aku ca rsa ada definisi bru yg aku boleh ckap psal cinta..ni dlam context, aku ngan azrol la kan..

cinta bagi aku:

1. bila, kita dh janji utk g dating..kunun nk jmpa kul 9..tp psagan kta dh lwat 30mnt..kta pulak terpaksa tggu dkt stesen bas yg penuh ngan habuk2 n asap2 bas..pstu, ada je budak2 muda lain yg mcm ada potensi nk rogol n curi kta..dlam hati kita, dh kluar sumpah seranah dkt psagan kta..npe xdtg2 lg..kta hnya tau msa tu kta mrah..tp kta xsdar sbnrya, msa tu kta bmbg..kot2 le pape terjdi pd psagn kta..n bla psgan kita ckap.."bby, abg dh smpi"..kta pun rncg, nmpak2 je muka dia, kta kna mrah..kna pesan lain kali..punctual skit..tp, kenyataan nya bila nmpak je muka dia..kta xjd nk mrah..kta dh happy..sbb dia dh ada dpan mta..n dia selamat..astu plak, dia pgg tgn kta..n tgk mta kta..smbil ckap.."bby...abg sorry sgt2..bas ni lwat..astu berhenti bnyak2 tmpat..sbb tu lmbt..lain kali, abg xkn bt bby tggu lg"..n bila kta dgr ayt2 ni..kta pun xjd nk mrah..sbb kta tau..dia mmg ikhlas ckap mc tu..mcm mna dia nk control bas tu spya gerak lebih lju or lebih cepat..kalu kta rsau..dia msti lg rsau..mst dia ats bas tu asyik tgk jam je..n bg aku, itu pun consider cinta jgk..itu cinta bg aku..xkra smada kta sdar ke x..tp perbuatan tu mmg cnta..

n..nant aku smbg lg tau..ada bnyak lg..aku rsa itu cinta bg aku..

::~suddenly i miss him~::

haih..td aku ke city..kunun nk beli brang2 buat asgnmnt.meluat la aku,,habiskan duit aku je..kalu xbeli brang2 tu dh lma aku bleh beli ksut yg aku suka itu..tp tu la..nk bt mcm mna kn..dh tggungjwab..hahhahaha..

hemm..msa aku naik bas td, tetiba tergt blik zaman2 dlu bila aku slalu g dating kt seremban..bukannya apa..aku terigt cik biskut yg sllu teman aku naik bas..dia xdela ikut aku blik kl, tp dia akn anta smpi depan pntu bas tu..n slgi bas tu xbergerak, dia xkn pergi..dia tggu je aku kt situ..haih..tym tu, kdg2 rsa sedih je..rsa xnk blik..rsa nk trus je lg dtg kt situ..tp tau2 jela..ipba kan..kalu lwat skit, mti aku..tp dlu pun, bukan aku blik lwat pun..kul 7 dh ada lam blik dh..dh siap mndi n nk g mkn mlam dh..humm..tp xpe..pointnye kt sini...aku terigat bila msa azrol anta aku naik bas tu..rsa sedih..dkt sini, xde sape nk anta aku naik bas camtu..naik la ko sengsorang..ko ada brang bnyak ke..ko blik lwat malm ke..ko hrus naik bas sengsorg..tensen kan..

tp cam xpela..dh nak blik dh pun..lpas ni, aku blh g dating lg..tp, kalu kali ni azrol xnk tman aku naik bas, aku xnk kwan ngan dia dh.hahahhah..

i think it was sweet at that tyme..i liked it, i still like it and i will always like it..=)

uwaaaaaaaaa..rndu!!!!

::~suddenly ak xtau ckap omputih~::

haih..itu je yg mampu aku kta..nk kta apa lg..xreti omputih kn..prsan x previous entries aku?ada je slah BI..mals la ku..kdg2 bila menulis otak aku hantar mklumat ke tgn aku utk menaip bnda2 yg sedap di mulut aku ni aje..xde kira slah eja ke grammar slah ke..apa ke..yg penting, bila mulut aku bca, ayt tu dh ok..dh sedap..hahhaha..bongek..

stu lg tnda kepupusan bhasa omputih dlam diri aku adlah bila nk kna ckap ngn omputih..seboleh2nya aku ckap bnda2 basic je.hi.thank you. you too.xpun, kalu dh mlas than dewa-dewi, aku guna bhsa isyarat je..contoh kalu dia tnya arah, aku tunjuk je ngn tgn aku..klu lg mlas, bla dia tnya pape, aku geleng je kpala aku..pstu mta buka bulat2 skit..biar dia tau aku ni xtau omputih..hahhahaha..mlas..tp itu la aku..lg nk blik lg kronik thap mlas aku ni..camne ni?camne nk jd cikgu BI ni?cam xboleh je..

kalu tnya aku apa aku nk jd sekang ni?mstila aku jwab yg glamor2 je..contoh, kunun, nk msuk malaysian most beaituful..hahhaha..logik kah..tp aim aku ca simple je..biar pun xmng, org cam knal aku la..pstu cam ada org2 kya mnat kt aku..n dia propose aku n we live happily together..oppsss..omputih alert!!!!..tp itula..angan2 bodo ktakan..xpun, klu aku xmng pun, kot2 le boleh jd pngacara pape ke..kalu pebgacara tv, korg nk tau apa aku suka?pengacara mkan2 n pengacara yg g mkan angin..sgat hebat..smbil mkn n bercuti smbil bekerja..di samping itu, sentiasa kelihatan cantik..oooo GOD...itu hanyala mimpi..

tp aku rsa aku boleh kot jd baker..hahhaha..stu lg angan2 n cta2 aku..aku nk buka kedai kek..walaupun skang ni, aku xtau bt stu kek pun..tp cam aku slalu ckap, aku akn g bljar kt Batang Kali nnt..ak akn g sekolh msakan..hahhahhha..kta tggu sal bnda tu k..tp yg pntg, aku xmo ckap omputih..tp aku nk jd kaya..logikkah???

xpela..tu je nk tulis pun..c ya!!! =)

::~happy birthday mama~::

happy birthday to u..
happy birthday to u..
happy birthday to mummy..
happy birthday to u..
I LOVE YOU!!!

today is my mummy's birthday.. i love her very much..i love you mama. if i were in Gurun today, i can bake you a cake. (hahahhaha..i wish..but maybe it will be a much better idea if i BUY that cake)..hahhaha..xpe..niat ada je dh cukup..

alhamdulillah..rezeki mama thun ni bnyak..i'm happy for her..she deserves it.she deserves every thing that she has now..

mm..about my mama, people always said to me that i'm like my mother. we have more or less the same face n both of us are loud and always say what we want to say.(some people may call it unaccepted behavior for saying thing that we are not supposed to say, but i think it is better to say it out loud to the people than having say it at their back)

n, this is my mummy.love, huggs and kissess for you!!!

::~It's Malaysia-lah activity~::

yesterday was a big day for malaysian students who study in QUT..we had this function called Malaysia-lah event and it started from 10am until 4pm yesterday.i did not do much this year. i di not dance for this event.last year i di dance for tarian cina, joget and multicultural dance..tp cam this year, i prefer to not spoil the good scenery of the dance sequences by contributing my reckless dancing acts ..hahhaha..i'm bad at dancing..real bad..why?

• i have difficulties in coordinating my arm and legs movement. i always felt like i'm actually a robot or something that was born in human body..i did..
• i have difficulties in learning the dance steps..walau brapa kali di ajar pun, still akn lembab n ssh nk bt..ssahla!!!
• i have darah gemuruh when it comes to perform in front of others.. i can easily forget the steps that i rmember when it comes to the actual performances..so, because of these obvious reasons, i choose not to dance..=)

i went to the event quite late.. coz i had other things to do..n i was not very keen on the event itself because i was not feeling good..demam..i arrived late there.n when i arrived, lotsa people were already there and were already busied doing their things..aku xtau nk bt apa..so cam sbukan diri g menyembang..itula pertolongan aku..cra utk meramaikan org di khemah..it works okay..

tp, there was still someone who still refused to talk to me..i did not know why..we just did not speak to each other anymore..=(

tp cam xksahla..ok je..and we closed the event by celebrating puteri's birthday..sedap cake itooo..heheh=)HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUTERI

but, overall ok la..

but my day did not end just quite yet..tggu....=)

::~last presentation~::

i did my last presentation just now..and i have this kind of weird thing going on inside me..i hate presentation..I HATE PRESENTATION..i don't like to speak in front of other people..i just dont think that kind of assessment suits me..you know..i'm not the type of girl that speaks much..hahhahahha..i'm lying here..but you know what, i like to talk but not academically..i just don't see myself as the academic type of person..and the last presentation that i did in Australia was just a big disaster...yes..DISASTER!!!i'm not putting any hope in this one..so, okay la..hopelessly homesick ktakan..+)
huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....nk blik

::~kECEWa~::

Sedikit waktu yang kau miliki
Luangkanlah untukku
Harap secepatnya datangi aku
S'kali ini ku mohon padamu
Ada yang ingin ku sampaikan
Sempatkanlah...
Hampa kesal dan amarah
S'luruhnya ada dibenakku
Tandai seketika
Hati yang tak terbalas
Oleh cintamu...
Kuingin marah, melampiaskan tapi kuhanyalah sendiri disini
Ingin kutunjukkan pada siapa saja yang ada
Bahwa hatiku kecewa...
Sedetik menunggumu disini, s'perti seharian
Berkali kulihat jam ditangan
Demi membunuh waktu
Tak kulihat tanda kehadiranmu
Yang semakin meyakiniku
Kau tak datang

p/s::lagu ini buat encik biskut yg suka tinggalin sya sndrian di sini::hahhaha

::~HOROSCOPE~::

DO YOU BELIEVE IN HOROSCOPE?DO YOU PLAN YOUR DAY BASED ON YOUR HOROSCOPE?I DO!!!I ALWAYS LOOK ON MY HOROSCOPE..IT'S NOT THAT I BELIEVE THEM BUT SOMETIMES, WHEN I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO, I'LL JUST LET MYSELF BELIEVE IN THE HOROSCOPE..I KNOW IT'S NOT GOOD TO HAVE THIS FALSE BELIEVE..BUT THAT'S ME..

TODAY MY HOROSCOPE READ AS:

The Bottom Line

Step out of reality today when you have the chance, -- check into your fantasy life!

In Detail

Step out of reality today when you have the chance, and check in with your fantasy life! It's been stuck on pause for far too long -- you need to get back in there and fill in some blanks. Dream about where you'll be in ten years, fantasize about who you will be with and what you will be doing. There is no harm in having the line between reality and fantasy blurred right now. In fact, it will make your reality all the more clear. Daydreaming can help your day go by!

HAHAHAHA..I KNOW.IT TELLS ME TO BE IN THE FANTASY LAND.. I DID VISIT THE FANTASY LAND MORE FREQUENT THAT I HAD IN THE PAST..I THINK THAT THE HOROSCOPE IS JUST LATE BY FEW DAYS. I DID ALL THE THINGS DESCRIBED IN TODAY'S HOROSCOPE FEW DAYS BACK..HAHAHHAA..I KEPT ON IMAGINING WHO WILL I LIVE MY LIFE WITH..WHO WILL I SHARE THE NEWS OF "I'M PREGNANT" WITH AND THAT SORTS OF THINGS..YOU KNOW..AND UNTIL NOW, ALL MY IMAGINATIONS ARE BLURRED..I DON'T KNOW THE FACES..I JUST SAW ME IN THE IMAGINATION. THE SURE THING WAS ONLY ME..

::~SEMPURNA~::

aihh..i've been wanting to write about this a long time ago..but i chose not to write it before because it was still fresh in the memory..because i did not want to further complicate things which were already complicated..and i think, this is the right time to write what i feel about this because, i believe, every one involved in this matter finally forgot what the matter was *hopefully*..it was just a misunderstanding..more from my side*guess so*..but the weird thing is i can't get this out from my mind..not that i don't want to but every time i want to forget it, new things come in the way and these things remind me back of the matter..not anyone's faults but it's just time is playing tricks with me..i don't even know why i've done a lotsa thinking about this matter recently..i can't help it.it just pops out of my mind and it stays there until i've finally got other things to think..i know, what i know and i know what i feel..but why can't this matter stays where it should stay???nowhere in my heart..i sometimes question myself with my actions, my thoughts, and even with the most complex thinking that i've done, i can't never break this matter into pieces and understand the whole bit of it..you move on from this..but i'm still stuck with it..

*am i that SEMPURNA?or is it just as song that you like*

i'll never know this kind of thing ..and for that, i really want to put this matter to rest..but, i should stop thinking about it first..and that's exactly what i'm falied to do!!!BUT, i'll do it

::~salam lebaran from Brisbane,Australia~::

hye all!!!it's been a long time since i last wrote in this blog..bukannye apa..busy sesangat..xde msa nk tulis2 blog..kranya option yg i ada tulis blog or buat kuih raya..so, hrusla buat kuih raya yg i pilih..i semangat sket buat kuih2 raya ni..walaupun i xtau bt bnyak pun..sekadar cornflakes beradu je..hahhahahahha..bengong...tp cam betul la..aku sibuk sbab buat kuih tu la..naik bengkak tangan ni bt cornflake tu..hahhaha..

smbil2 buat kuih, smbil2 saiko..saiko nk balik..memanjang mulut aku nk blik..nk blik umah..nk blik umah..nk balik umah.naik tuli sume org yg dgr rintihan tu..tp pape pn..smpi nk dekat seminggu raya pun still xblik2 jgk..yela..kalu ikut ati n balik, aku mmg xdtg sini dh..anta assigmnt online jela..xmampu nk beli return ticket..hahhahaaha..

nway, anther reason xnk blik adlah sbb dh last tyme dh rya kt negara omputih ni..xtau bila lgi aku akn ada kesempatan nk beraya kt luar ngra..kalu ada rezeki cpatla..kalu x, lmbt skit la..tp pape pun, aku xnk la miss the last moment beraya kt brisbane ni..sedey okes nk kna blik dh..tp ada jgk sbhgian diri aku yg dh tergedix2 nk blik..dh start pgkah2 kalendar dh..huahuahua..now, less than 2 months dh..td akran ckap, "ampa sedar x klu org tnya, bla nk blik?kta dh blh jwab, next month dh blik?"huhu..kejap je kn msa ni..tp pape pn can't wait to breath the air in Malaysia..huahuahua

so,d kesempatan ini, ak nk mnta maaf la kalu terksar bhasa dlm blog ni or kt luar..kdg2 mmg xsdr..laser je mulut aku..bukan apa..dh nature aku begitu..so sorryla ek..xmksdkn pun..

buhbye..selamat hari raya..

::~apa yg aku bt~::

ok, let me tell you what i did for the last couple of weeks...or maybe not that long, days..

ok, the last day that i was academically-involved was last wednesday..i went to the TEAL tutorial for an hour n a half...afterward, ida, fat,ayie n me went straight to DFO..actually, i'm not being 100% honest here..i'm not academically involved that day because, my mind was somewhere else. i was thinking of my "tut", thinking of my money, thinking about the perfumes that i like n i will buy n i was definitely thinking about what n where was i going to spend all the money that i had..humm, so, being in the classroom was just an alibi for "not being there"..d'you get it???hehhehe=)

ok, last assignment that i did and i sent was TEAL-Newsletter. emm..i did about the indigenous people in Malaysia n their language needs..emm, now, at this moment of time, i know that my newsletter was a piece of crap..i just kept on writing things that were not necessary nor they had any significance for the topic...........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......i xtau..i xtau apa yg i bt..so, cam lantakla..aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...lulus sudaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

ok, last few days jgk, i had been busy with myself..yes, MYSELF..xbt apa pun..sj je mnjakan diri..bgn cam lam kul 2..ye ank dra apa ni???!!!astu, menyegak dlam bilik sorg2..n mkan mcam org afrika yg xpnah jumpa mkanan..yep..i did that n i will alwayd do it..(hahhahaha..yela skang ni, aku cam tgh best la, walaupun aku rsa aku mkn mcm han****, tp bla tmbang, xdela han**** sgt..huahuahaua)so, menu mlm ni, aku nk mkn, nsi grg n sup fishball, astu aku nk mkn spring roll,astu aku nk mkn strawberry..dh tu mlm ni fat nk msak kuih rya, hrusla aku testing bnyak2 kn..QC org kta..hahhaha..

ok, not to forget, last few days jgk la kteorg cam ada nma bru..

• ida-EVILIA
• fat-TANGELINA
• aku-ADEMONIA
• poniey-SATANIA
• emy-LUCIPHERIA or better known as kak L

ok, ni mcm nma2 kteorg d bulan pose..hakikatnya, setan2 sume dh xde, tp setan dlam diri plak yg berlambak2..so, inilaaaaaaaa hasilnya..

emm, last nite, we went to break our fast at izy, sal n ju's house..sodapppppp..mkn nsi lomak ayam goreng..muackkkkkkkk..sehingga menjilat jari n pggan okess..ok, dh bgtau td kn, perut aku besar, so aku mkn dua pggn nsi lmak beserta agar2, aym grg shja, buah n mcm2 la..haa....ni bru semgat berbuka org kta..hahhaha..as usual, ada terawih, tp aku xlarat, perut berat, so cam "OFF" jp.hahhahah..astu, kteorg dgr2 tazkirah dri ustzah salina, shah, lin, n izyan..so, cam rsa insaf jp lpas tu..astu, ckap2 plak sal lailatul qadar..astu, bla kteorg ckap dh lepas..dh jd msa mlam 21 aritu..sume org asyik tnya, ha????!!!apa???dh lepas!!!apa yg kte bt?apa yg aku bt?aku beramal x mlam tu? last2 poniey ckap, emmm...sudaaalaaaaa.kalu xingt, nmpak sgt kita dh lalai..yep..nmpknya aku dh lalai..aku xtau aku bt apa..xingt...ampun!!!!

so, itula sedikit sebanyak apa yg aku bt selama aku menyepikan diri dr blog ini..so..till we meet next time..

muahhahhahahaha..

i know you hate me..(ala2 gossip girl giteeewwwwwwwwwwwwww)=)

::~when we know, we just know~::

humm..this morning i asked fat, my hosmate,

"have u ever felt like you know that a person like you?have you ever felt like it?"
fat answered me, "yes, i do"

n i asked her, "what will you do then?"

fat answered me, "show him and anyone else like you don't care because what's important is you know yourself that he likes you. unless you are the type of girl who will always make the first move"

n i only oooed n aaaaaed..

you know he likes you but everyone else seems to not care the fact that he likes you or he pays more attention to you or he touches you more than he touches anyone else, he teases you more than he teases anyone else and he hurts you more than he will ever do to anyone else... hum..sometime, i feel like i know if someone likes me..but most of the time, i just misread the signs.humm.i'm a bit slow in this field and i guess i have less experiences with boys and that's what makes me inadequate and frequently misinterpret the signs..poor me.. i know..

but, despite the lack of experiences on my side, i just know that he likes me..like I said, when we know, we just know..i just know that he likes me..i just know that he sometimes tries to run away from me because, he is just like me..i know, we are not meant to be together..i know, there is no future for me n him n i certainly know that me n him will never be together..i just know.. we just know.. n we choose not to be together because we just do not want to create any more memories..i hate memories..they don't go awy. they stick to your brain n it's VERY impossible for you to erase it in a natural way..unless you want to go beyond the natural..go bang your head at the wall..but, i'm pretty sure that it will only make you hurt not erasing the memory..

hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!


experiences!!!come to me baby!!!.hahahhaha..=)

~this song is dedicated to U~

If u r not brave enough to try, how would u know how the story ends..

ku pernah punya cinta namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
cintaku dulu tlah kubuang jauh kini ku ingin kamu

ku pernah menyendiri di sini ku akan terasa sepi
walaupun bibir penuh gelak tawa namun hatiku sepi

jangan bilang tidak bila kita belum mencoba
siapa yang tahu akan sama hatimu dan juga hatiku
banyak yang bercinta bertahun-tahun putus juga
kuharapkan dengan dirimu walaupun singkat pendekatan
cinta kita kan abadi

ku pernah punya cinta namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
cintaku dulu tlah kubuang jauh kini ku ingin kamu

jangan bilang tidak bila kita belum mencoba
siapa yang tahu akan sama hatimu dan juga hatiku
banyak yang bercinta bertahun-tahun putus juga
kuharapkan dengan dirimu walaupun singkat pendekatan

jangan bilang tidak waktu dicium aku bingung
namun dada ini bergetar
makanya sungguh aku mohonjangan bilang tidak

Raffi Ahmad & Ayushita- Jangan Bilang Tidak

::kerusi yang bengong:::

camne aku nk explain betapa malu nye aku saat ini..msa ni..aku kunun2 sibuk n fokus terhadap asgnmnt aku yg xbergerak lgsung pun n sume org pun asyik pndg aku..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..mk tau x sbb apa?td msa aku tgh sdap2 dgr hotfm..ada lgu best la..so, aku pun tergedix2 la ats kerusi yg bengong ini.aku pusing kanan.aku pusing kiri..n msa aku pusing tu ada org pusing tgk aku..aku ingt dieorg sj2 je nk tgk..yela..aku sorg je makhluk bertudung kt sini..rupanya x..dieorg tgk aku sebb kerusi yg aku duduk ni mengluarkan bnyi pelik bla aku berpusing..eeee.sentap..pttla..dh lma aku persan ada org tgk aku setiap kali aku psuing..tp aku xtau..telinga aku dh pekak ngn musik dr hotfm ni..so, bla org tgk aku, aku pn bt muka "dunno"la..kunun, cam aku budget comel la..mgkn sbb tu dieorg tgk aku..tp, ternyata aku persan..org tgk ko sbb ko bt bising sufyana oi..bnyi yg pelik..eeee..malu!!!!bengong..so, skang, aku kna pksa pggung ak dok diam2 ats kerusi ni walau syok mnapun lgu yg aku dengaq..hauhauahuahaua..buduuuuuuuuuuuu

i've been tagged..huahuahuahua=)

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any 1 questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by and continue this game by sending it to other people.

Tagged by SITI NOR FATHIAH ZULKAFLI

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
OBVIOUSLY HIDEOUS..I MEAN MY ATTITUDES TOWARDS HIM..MYBE I WILL CURSE HIM N MOST CERTAINLY, I WILL SCOLD HIM. then, i'll cry..=(

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

I WANT TO HAVE A PERFECT LIFE. PERFECT IN EVERY ASPECT SO THAT I WON'T FIND ANY HOLE TO POKE IN.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
UMM..I HAVE NO INTENTION OF KICKING SOMEONE ELSE'S BUTT.HAHHAHA..

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
BUY A BUNGALOW.OPEN A BAKERY SHOP. PUT A LARGE AMOUNT ON MY SAVING ACCOUNT. GIVE TO MY PARENTS. SHOPPING!!!!

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?

I WOULD LOVE TO.BUT SOMEHOW, I'M JUST NOT THE TYPE OF GIRL THAT MY FRIENDS WILL FALL FOR.HAHHAHA

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I THINK BEING LOVED BY SOMEONE IS MORE BLESSED THAN LOVING SOMEONE..BUT IT WILL BE PERFECTLY BLESSED IF I EXPERIENCE BOTH.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS. I HAD WAITED FOR THAT SOMEONE FOR THREE YEARS AND I THINK WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.SO, NOW, I RATHER NOT TO WAIT..I JUST ATTACH MYSELF TO SOMEONE THAT I KNOW WILL WAIT FOR ME FOREVER.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I ACCEPT THE TRUTH AND HOPE SOMEDAY, HE WILL KNOW THAT I REALLY LIKE HIM N HE WILL REGRET FOR NOT CHOOSING ME.HAHHAHAH..KEJI..I KNOW..(U CAN CALL ME KEJI)

9. Have u ever been labeled as a snatcher?
NOPE..I'M NOT THAT "GOOD". I GUESS SO.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
LIES

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
HOPEFULLY:
1. MARRIED
2. BLESSED WITH MY HUSBAND'S LOVE
3. HAVE A CHILD
4. I WILL OPEN A BAKERY SHOP
5. I CAN DRIVE ON MY OWN.HAHHAHA
6. RICHER THAN THIS MOMENT OF TIME
7. A BIT SLIMMER THAN NOW OR MYBE JUST LIKE NOW.

12. What's your fear?
1. FEAR OF WAKING UP ALONE
2. FEAR OF BEING A FAILURE
3. FEAR OF BEING A COMPLETE BITCH..NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE BEING BITCHY..BUT IN MODERATE AMOUNT I GUESS.HAHAHHA
4. FEAR OF NOT GETTING WHAT I WANT
5. FEAR OF NOT ACHIEVEING MY DREAMS..

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
FATHIAH-->>SOFT-HEARTED PERSON.SHE MAY LOOK STRONG ON THE OUTSIDE BUT I KNOW, SHE HAS A FRAGILE HEART..JUST LIKE MINE..MOST POSITIVE PERSON EVER LIVED..OR SHOULD I SAY I'VE EVER MET..HEHHE..GEDIXS..XNK NGAKU "CHENTANYA"..HAHAHA.SORRY FAT.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
HAIH..SUSAHLA SOALAN CAMNI..MARRIED BUT POOR???I XNKLA CAMTU..TP XNK JGK SINGLE BUT RICH..BIASA2 SUDAAAAAAAAAAAA..

.
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
BEBEL SORG2..CKAP"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...MLAS LA ARINI..MLS NK BT KEJA..MLASSSSSSS.....!!!!" N THEN, BRU I BGUN.MEANING, TRUN DR KTIL LA..

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
HUMM..NOPE..IT'S NOT SAFE TO DO THAT..BETTER GIVE LITTLE AND RECEIVE MUCH THAN GIVE MUCH N RECEIVE LITTLE..SOUND SELFISH BUT IT'S JUST HOW RELATIONSHIP WORKS FOR ME..

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

HUMM..OBVIOUSLY THE ONE WHO CARES FOR ME..N THE ONE WHO FALL FOR ME TOO..IT'S NOT ENOUGH IF I'M JUST THE ONLY PERSON WHO FALLS FOR THAT SOMEONE..WE BOTH HAVE TO FALL FOR EACH OTHER. BUT IF THE TWO MEN FALL FOR ME, HAHAHHAHAHA..I XTAULA..DEDUA PUN SYG I KN..CAMNE NK PILH EK??XPENAH LG LA SETAKAT NI..

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

UMM..NOT SURE..BUT MYBE.I WON'T FORGET BUT SOONER OR LATER I WILL FORGIVE..BIAR DIA SEDAR SKET DIA DH BT KTA SKT HATI..

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
AAAA...IN A RELATIONSHIP..I XSUKE HDUP SENGSORG...

20. List 5 people to tag.
IDA
JAN
ZAIM
ZATIL
EMY
SAPE2 JE YG SUKA NK BT..AMIKLAAAAAAAAAAA

::saiko raya::

haih..tetiba rsa saiko n sentap bila aku dgr hotfm..haaaaaaaa...saiko..saiko dgr lgu rya..ishh..xleh jd ni..dh dua thun dh aku beraya kt sini..xbest.xbest..aaaaaaaaaaa...nk blik..tetiba rsa meluat dok sini..xbest..klu kt mlysia ni dh hrus g shopping dh skang..dh sibuk dh msa ni nk beli bju rya..tp skang, dh kt sini, ko nk beli bju rya apa???ha???pose pun rsa cam xpose je..xde semangat nk rya lgsung..aaaaaaa...nk blik..aku tau, skang ni, msti kt kedai2 bju dh bt sale..bju kurung, kebaya, kebarung, kerongsang, tudung,...pendek kta, apa je ko nk mst ada..kt sini xde apa lgsg..buhsannnnnnnnnnn....nk blik..teringat zaman2 giat shopping kt masjid india..eh ke apa nma tempat tu..xbrapa igt..tp ak igt stu bnda..msa g shopping tu dh letih..letih yg xlarat nk jln tu..ada la makhluk2 tuhan ni g berhent kt masjid..igtkan nk semayang..rupanya tergolek dlm masjid tido..hahhahahha..buduh betol...

n aku pun terigt berbuka pose bersama azrol..haaaaaaaaaa...rindu..aku igt lg..pg tu azrol ckap nk dtg jumpa aku n nk berbuka pose..tp pg tu jgkla aku kna sgt ngn tebuan..dh bengkak tgn..dan2 rsa nk demam..astu, dh azrol smpi, hrusla aku merengek2 sakit..padahal xde skit mna pun..hahhahah..gedixs..astu azrol bwa aku g klinik utk injection..dh skit pggung aku..dh parah n perih nk g kg.baru..haaaaa..tp gmbra..i love the moments..aaaaaaaaa...nk blik..nk blik!!!!

LAPAQ!!!!!!

::missing CICI & TAMMY::

aihh..lately, i've been searching through my folders just to feast my eyes with the pictures of my two babies..i love them very much..i want to kiss them.i love to hug them..i miss talking to them and most importantly, i miss playing with them.

their presences have made my day brighter n more precisely less boring..yes i know..i already have two dearest little brothers but "their" presences somehow make me think i can live with just them..

hehhehhee..here are my babiesssssssss..love you muah2x..tggu kak p blik tau..

this is tammy..he is my future foreteller..





cutey cutey pie>>>>cici



i love you cici

::beauty & ugly::

haih..kuasa tuhan menjadikan manusia itu cantik , kurang cantik n hodoh..

tetapi, nape cam bnyak org cantik dr org hodoh??i mean, di sekeliling aku, bnyak oje org2 cntik..rsa inferior aku..bukanla nk kta xbersyukur, tp aku sbgai sorg mnusia biasa ni, hrus ada persaan cam nk "questioning"..tp aku tau itu tdak bgus..tp mcm mna kn???

humm, aku g tgk frenster sorg kakak ni.umur almost 30..tp mak aiii..msh cantik lg..kalu xtgk umur dia aku budget dia umor 22 mcm aku jgk..tp bila tgk umur dia, cam terkejut plak..haaaaaaaaaaaaaa....xadil..dhla cntik..awet muda plak tu..dh tu bf dia mmg muka anak org kaya tu..tgk skali dh tau xkn g shppg kt mid valley ni..hrus g klcc..btul la tekaan ak..slang beberapa gmbr, gmbr dieorg dua shopping kt klcc..haih..cam ne ni???cun, nmpak muda, body mantap la, bf kacak, kaya plak tu..cam complete gitewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....mcm mna ngan aku????haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

so, skang ni, aku saiko..end of story..=)tp xpe..xkesahhhhhhhhhhhhh..

::between love, desire and security::

i have done lotsa thinking about this issue..n finally, i choose love and security over desire.

love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

desire: a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment.

security: freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence.

ok, basically the dictionary defines the words the way i define them to myself.

between the three, i choose 2. i left my desire as i think, desire won't bring you anywhere and most importantly, if you choose desire, you will not be long from being hurt..that's how i think and i believe.

so, i made my decision and i stick to my believe. i choose love because, it is VERY important for me to be loved by someone. if you are loved by someone, the chances you will get hurt is somehow reduced. i think so.

i also choose security. i do not want to feel insecure of my own feeling. so i choose the certain one and i will built on this..no matter how long it will take, i think i can..

so, this is me now. n this is how i'm gonna live my life..a bit selfish but it is CERTAIN!!!

::i won't say anything::

humm.. i won't say anything unless i really, really, really need to say it..
not that i don't care but i think you have better judgment than mine..
so, we will see about this..later..or maybe sooner

:: i read it somewhere..none of these are mine::

humm..

people close their heart and seem to shut down all the possible connections with the social world or should we call it world with love, intimacy and trust because they are afraid that if they step out from their "door", they will be on the risk of getting hurt..they are afraid of being hurt and mostly they are afraid of having to be on the edge at every second n their lifetime. you are too afraid to say that you want the "world" because you have forced yourself to accept that the current world that you live in is the most secure place of all.but, the truth is you just being too scared to open it to possibilities .n most people will also said, :"no pain, no gain". (BOOKENDS)

people are always trying their hardest to not settle for the less than best..they seem to chase the dreams that may not even come true and seem to overlook the bits of reality around them. they close their eyes and choose not to see anything that would not fit their "dream" and they blame "fate" or "destiny" for making them what they are now.. but people, i personally think that you choose what or who you wanna be..so, there's no point of pointing fingers at others if you, yourself do not want the changes.. so, stop blaming or using others as your acts of running away from what you are afraid of..if you are afraid, then you will never know how does it feel. if you are too choosy you will simply leave the best cause you will always think, they will be more than best at the end of the day..n if you do not want, don't even try to give a slightest bit of interest cause, you may break others' hearts..so, the rule is simple..you act like you want, if you want n if you don't want, you MUST act like you DON'T want. simple. i figured it myself when i made the choice.. it was a hard way to learn but blimey, it worth every pain felt and every gain earned. (SUFYANA)

::tensen!!!!::

tensen..itu je word yg boleh describe apa yg aku rsa skang..haaaaaaaaaaaaa...nk balik..msa2 ni la aku hrapa aku msih lg dlam perut ibu ku..mlas la..

1. mlas nk pk.
2. mlas nk bt keja.
3. mlas nk gerak.
4. mlas nk taip.
5. mlas nk bca.
6. mlas nk ckap omputih.
7. mlas nk g kelas.
8. mlas nk mandi.
9. mlas nk pki bju.
10. ,las nk pkai tudung.
11. mlas nk skat rmbut.
12. mlas nk pki losyen.
13. mlas nk pki conditioner.
14. mlas nk bwa beg.
15. mlas nk amik duit.
16. mlas nk msak.
17. mlas nk makan.

mlassssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!

ok, keynote sekarang adalah MALAS..

tp ada jgk bnda aku rjin..tp bila rjin part ni, xde membawa sebarang kebaikan pun..

1. rjin mkan.
2. rjin tgk tv.
3. rjin gosip.
4. rjin msg.
5. rjin call.
6. rjin buang masa.

humm..tgk..xde sebarang kebaikan pun bila aku rjin utk bnda2 cam ni..

humm..skang ni aku malas nk blik umah..logik x??malas nak blik sbb mlas nk jlan, mlas nk trun tangga,mlas nk tggu bas, mlas nk tjk tiket kt driver, mlas nk tkan loceng.mlasssssssssssssssssss..ye, smpi thap tu aku pnya mlas..tp kna blik..sbb ptg ni ada discussion..tp mlas nk blik awl..klu blik awl kna tggu berbuka..yg tu pun aku mlas jgk....

::Popia Sardin::

hehhehe..slogan kta

"Sardines Can't Never Go Wrong"

hehhehe..itula motto aku starting from now..hahhaha..aku hepi sebab popia yg aku bt dh jd..so sbgai bukti kegembiraan aku tu, aku bt popia sardin dua hari berturut2..hahhahaha..GILA..ye aku tau..tp tula kan..bila kte ni slalu msak xsedap n bla kita msk sumthg n sedap, hrusla kta nk msak lg bnda tu..btul x???begitu jgkla aku..hahhahahhaa..aku xkra..aku mmg suka popia sardin itu..hahhahaha..

tp kn, aku xdela msak sardin tu sgt pun..sbb bln2 pose ni, deria rsa aku xbrapa berfungsi sgt..ida cam kta kt aku, "beh, rsalah beh sardin tu..tp jgn telan"..humm, rsa tp xtelan????mustahil bg aku..sbb aku mmg xpndi bt mcm tu..bla aku rsa mcm ida srh rsa tu, aku xrsa pape pun..so cam mustahil la bg aku utk msk sardin tu kn..jan, ida n fat yg msak sardin utk kedua2 ari..tp aku xkra..aku nk jgk kredit for making popia sardin sbb aku yg gulung..hahahhaha..

umm, nk tunjuk bukti pun xde dh..dh xsempat aku nk amik gmbr..dh msuk dlm perut popia itu..hahhaha..so, even without the pic, ykinla dgn kebolehan aku utk memasak (errr..actually menggulung) popia sardin..=)

hehehhe..humm..juadah bebuka arini mcm nk bt cucur keria n ayam bbq..=)
xkurus pun bulan pose ni..makin gajah lg ada la..tp xksah..i'm happy..

::u now me better than i do myself::

ida, u know me better than i know myself..

heheheh..thank u for the careful observation that u've made..nwei, aku nk gtau, aku mmg gedixs pun..

u know me too well to have overlooked that part..hahahha..

::he makes her cry ONCE again::

he makes her cry again..
he makes her feel devastated once again..
he makes her feel unwanted once again..
he breaks her heart once again..
he breaks her trust on him..
so she does cry once again..
for the love she once had, was the unrequited love..

he made her fell for his false promises..
he made her believed he would wait for her
he made her believed that she would always has him by her side..
but now, he makes her cry once again for all the things he said to her were all just lies..

n he makes her cry again on the first day of Ramadhan for he tells her "LET'S JUST END IT"
n it really hurts her feeling and really makes her cry once again..
n she asks herself how many time can her heart break for all she knows she only has one..

::sentapppppppppppppp::

1. okies..first of all, kesentapan aku yg plg dahsyat bru2 ni adalah river fest yg kurrrrrreng best..xdela xbest lgsung..tp xbest cam last year la...n i'm not the only one yg rsa camni..org lain pun rsa begini jgk..memula aku sentap sbb aku cam prsan bila aku lalu, mst ada org tgk..so apa lg aku ni dh start la gelabah..tetiba aku rsa muka aku cam terbakar..yela..aku bru first time pkai blusher seniri..aku cam rsa terlebih letak la..pstu disbabkan itu, muka aku jd cam udang terbakar la..bnyak la..sepanjang2 jalan tu aku asyik dok bebel2 smpai fat pun xthan nk dgr n dia kta.."nah, tgk seniri muka ang kt cermin"..aku pun amik n tgk la..tp cam normal je..xde la yg pelik pun..humm..tp mgkn hodoh kot..xpun pelik..
2. second sentap terjadi bila aku nk g duduk ats tembok btu itu..aku xde pun g duduk lg..bru je menghala ke arah itu..tetiba ada sorg pompuan omputih ni ckap. "sorry, this is taken"..eeeeeeee..meluat aku..bkan aku kebulur sgt pun kt tempat ko tu..dh la ckap kuat..bkn aku xdgr walaupun ko xnmpak telinga aku..meluat..kesimpulannya aku meluat...itu key point kt sini..mmg ko racist..aku tau tu..ooo..sbb aku pkai tdung ko igt aku pekak???ko ingat aku kebulur ngan tempat ko???eeeeeee.sentap!!!!
3. emm third sentap bila dh lma2 kteorg tggu kt tepi sungai tu, bnyak pulak makhluk yg dtg lmbt duduk depan ktorg..kalu comel xpe jgk..ni mcm dh besar tong..sentap aku..bukan apa..ktorg xnmpak..xnmpak lgsung bridge..tu punya besarnye makhluk tuhan yg ini..n ni yg plg aku meluat kalu duduk kt event yg rmai org..ORANG YANG BUSUKKKK..aku mmg xtahan..hidayah je than org camni..dia sggup g berdiri kt org2 camni.. n xlupa jgk two of my friends, fat n jan..diorg g je jt tmpat org busuk td..aku cam pk, xpela..kalu x g pun xpela..aku mmg xsggup nk srh reseptor bau aku ni mti sbb slalu sgt bau org busuk..meluat aku..tp last2 ida pun surrender jgk sbb die kta ada org kentut kt situ..so, cam dtgla kt tempat aku yg aman dmai dr segala bau..tp fat n jan maintain kt tmpat tu..n u know what????fat mengaku HDUNG DIA MMG XBRAPA BERFUNGSI SGT..hahhahah..lwak la..

apa yg aku bt utk menghilangkan kesentapan aku?
1. pkai bju cntik2..bju yg cantik memberikan aku rsa puas hati..rsa gembra n rsa cntik la obviously..hahhahaha..
2. mkan.mkan strawberry with chocolate dip..rsa nikmat sngt..lgpun aku lapar tym tu..so apa je mkanan rsa nikmat yg sgt xtrhgga tu..
3. people-watch..ya Allah, semalam la msanya kteorg hone our talents in discussing bout people..bknla umpat keji mksudnya..tp adala jgk bnda tu..tp most of the time kteorg body org ni cntik..kaki org tu lawa..yg positif la..hello,people-watch doesn't necessarily mean producing negative statement bout others okes!!!!!
4. gedixs..

huahauhauah..so, itula kot..secara ringkasnye apa aku bt semalam..xbnyak..tp kn, b4 aku g situ, i had this weird-kind of feeling..aku rsa cam i would be given love there..yes indeed, i received love..huahauhauahau..CANTIK!!!!

bye2..muackssssssssssss

::keji kah aku?:::

guys....
keji kah aku kalu aku kta org yg duduk tepi aku dlm comp lab ni busuk????seyesly busuk..aku xtau nk bt muka mcm mna dh..hdung aku plak..cam dh penyek2..jp kembang2..nk than dri aku ni dri bau org yg busuk ni..aku tau itu sgt keji..tp aku mmg than..memula aku nk stay lma lg kt lab ni..tp bau bsuk ni bt aku ada second thought je..bau tu bau ke****..eeee.geli..start la aku..segala ttg org tu pun aku rsa ktor..aku rsa busuk..tp mmg pun..dia dtg je..hdg aku dh kembang kempis sense busuk..abis perfume aku..dh tak bau..slap2 ngan aku sekali bau cam ke****..ish....sentappppp!!!!!

emm..msa aku tulis entry ni..org yg busuk tu g mna ntah..lega skit aku rsa hdg aku..tp aku cam dh nmpak dia dtg blik...eeeeeee.meluattttttttttttttt
btw, mexico ada kt blakang aku ni..kt lab jgk..huahuahauahau..
aku cam rsa nk tukar computer lak..eeeeeeeeeeee


emmm.ni entry yg diedit sket..msa aku tulis ni..jumlah org busuk dh bertambah..dr 2 sekrang ni mcm sekampung ada kt sini..eeeeeeeeeeeee..busuk...menyampahhhhh

::shoppppppppppppping::

yup.. shoppppppping!!!!! emm, initially, "we" did not even want to go anywhere..particularly myself..yela, kunun, xde mood..xnk kuar..xnk mkan..tp xplak jd begitu..ada je bnda aku nk bt..kunun, utk gembirakan ati...memula, fat ajk g mkn kfc je..tu pun aku cam dh mlas..bukan apa..pnat i goreng ayam kelmarin dulu..siap bertopeng segala..pnatla, kalu xmkn aym itu tetpi mkan aym kfc..so cam mlas la..tp bila teringt xde bnda nk bt..so ikutla aku..so, bla dh jumpa ida kt klas..g la ajk jgk pompuan tu..so, kesimpulannya semua pun berstuju nk g mkn kfc..humm..niat awl cam baik jela..g mkn , round2 n blik..tp xde la jd begtu..bila dh round n nmpak sale, rsa cam berdosa plak kalu xbeli..ish..pelikkkkk!!!tp itula yg aku bt..sudahnya, shopping utk raya..hahhahaha..kteorg smpi sna dlm kul 1 lebey..mkn2 jp n trus shopping..blik pulak almost 5..tu pun still rsa cam ada kekurangan something..haih...

hsil2 tangkapan semlam cam bnyak la jgk..

• 4 belts.. (ni kunun blas dendam sbb belt2 aku yg lain adalah bab*..so cam blas dendam la..amik ko..puas ati)
• 1 dress (dress ni still dress bunga2 kecil lg..tp camne???ye, aku tau ada org kta aku ni mcm xtukar bju..tp sebenrnya x..aku mmg ada bnyak bju bnga2 kecil ni..n dress yg terbru ni, aku nk pkai msa riverfire..huahauhauahau..aku nk g bergedixs kt atas jmbtan..aku nak.!!!!)
• 1 jean (emm..yg ni sj je beli..habiskan duit..aaaaaaaaaaa...aku xde niat pun nk beli jean..tp bila org ckap nmpak cntik je..apa lgi, aku pun tergedixs2 la beli jean..tp xpela..boleh pkai msa river festival..hahhahahah)

humm..itu yg aku je..hsil tgkapan fat ngan ida pun bnyak jgk..tp aku xnkla tulis kt sini..kot2 le nant ada org mrah..hahhahaha..

humm, one more thing, ak dh tau....ak akn beli for future use..=)

byeeeeeeeeee..muackssssssssssssssssss

::buhsannnnn n i'm the mistress of spices:::jeng jeng jeng

haihh..sejak2 tenet xde kt umah ni..memanjang aku buhsan..xde apa nk bt..nk keja dh nk blik sgt2 dh..so xde org nk amik bekerja n most importantly, aku mlas..itu key factor nape aku xkeja..so bila dh memanjang buhsan, memanjang jgkla aku tgk tv..so bila dh memanjang tgk tv, hrusla asignmnt aku xbt..camne ni??xde motivasi ni nk bt asignmnt..skang ni aku kt lab KG. kunun nk cri resources la utk bt asgnmnt aku..tp apa..aku chatting jp td..tgk frenster..update profile..buka blog n skang ni tgh blogging..xsmpai lg aku ke niat n tjuan asl aku yg dtg nk cri resources tu..MALAS!!!!

humm, speaking about malas, td before dtg sini, kununnya nk dtg KG ni dlm kul 12 mcm tu..xde jd nya niat murni aku tu..kul 3 bru smpi sini..dh tu, bla dh ptg, mula la mta aku ni menggatal2 nk terpejam..so cam g library..lepak2 smbil tdo atas beans bag n terhegeh2 memalsukan konsentrasi terhadap reading yg susah..bila start je bca reading tu, aku tetiba rsa cam xpnah blaja BI plak..rsa sume words kt situ alien..ssah btul la nk comprehend those words..so, as usual, xbca abis laaaaaaaa...n lupa nk gtau sbb aku lwat dtg KG..aku ngan awn tgk cite..awan pjm dvd dr uni n aku tlg tgk la..kesian awan tgk sorg2..sbgai kwan yg baik xkn aku nk biar awn sorg2, so aku teman la..kteorg tgk MISTRESS OF SPICES..heheheh..merapu gila ceritnya..tp cam agk hebat la..as usual, aku hrus je nk kuasa2 bodo mcm tu..sape2 yg jd Mistress of Spices ni dia cam blh predict future la n dia blh tlg org yg dlm kesusahan dgn guna spices je..hahahha.comel kan..tp best je..tp ada jgk part yg xbest..sbb ada rules yg hrus dpatuhi sape2 yg jd mistress ni.

• rule 1: xleh kuar dri kedai spices tu. (yg ni cam leh consider sbb mgkn kalu aku yg jd hrus kedai itu besar n ada segala dlam tu)
  
• rule 2: xleh sentuh kulit org lain (i'm no angel..huahuahuaha..amt sukar)
  
• rule 3: xleh ada desires. (this is the hardest part..desires???i have lotsa them)
  

haih..amatla sukar utk aku mematuhi ketiga2 rules tersebut..camne nk shopping?camne nk menggedix?camne nk tgk movies?camne nk mcm2 la..haihla...n for those reasons la aku rsa xpela kalu aku xjd mistress of spices pun..hahahahha..tp yg plg best bila part chillies bg warning bila ada bhya..comel kan..hebat..aku ok je kalau camtu..aku nk kuasa itu!!!!


hahhaha..lwak..mnala ada bnda camtu kn..kalu ada..haihla..hrus best..
k la..ak nk kna cri resources ni..tp tgkla..jp lg la..nk g cri gmbar jp dlu..hahahhaa..
muacksssssssssssss.bye.

::break vs. clash::

humm.lately, aku senang2 je saiko.. n aku tau bila aku saiko, secara tidak langsungnya org lain pun akn trt terjejas ngan kesaikoan aku itu..tp bnda camni dh xblh nk elak..mcm wajib la saiko2 ni..tp yg pelik kan, saiko aku itu menyerang tym nk g kelas je..kalu xg kelas jrg la aku saiko..tp ada jugakla..i may look stronger on the outside but who knows exactly what is happening and churning inside my heart..only God knows..

humm, tp ari sabtu aritu aku ada la jgk melayan saiko aku di tepi sungai..ye, aku g tepi sungai brisbane n melepak kt situ almost an hour..xtau apa yg aku bt..tp mcm best je tgk air sungai tu..msa tu xde apa dlm kepala aku..aku rsa cam the weight has been lifted from my shoulder..tp cam mrah je la kn saiko theraphy aku..free ok..tnpa perlu mengeluarkan sesen pun..n yg plg pntg itu bt aku gembira..even just for an hour..i guess after this, hrus je berumah kt tepi sungai..hahahah..sungai itu happy...that's the bottom line.

umm, a friend of mine told me the other day simple analogy about break n clash..i thought i knew the differences but i guess i failed to comprehend these words..ok..analogy nye sng je..

• break is like the process that you take when you are commiting suicide..seperti yg digambarkan, mcm kelar2 tgn tu..let your wrist bleeds until you die..
• whereas, kalu clash pulak like you jump straight from the building n you suddenly die..no pain involved..i guess so..never tried and never will. (i'm talking about jumping from the building).

ok, see isn't it clear that the end "product" for both actions is "die"..i'm not suggesting that die equals to single and i believe neither does my friend suggesting it..cma, "die" tu mgkn symbolically means heartbroken..hehheeh..but earlier on, i did not believe him..so i said, i guess it's okay if we break because, even though you said that it's like you r in the process of commiting suicide, but there will always be hope..and my stupid idea as usual is hrus ada hospital..n if u r lucky enuff u will be sent to the hospital n get some treatment n you live again but with the "scar" of course..but it doesn't matter because you still be alive..but certainly in my case, there's not enuff ambulance to send me to the hospital n as a result (wahhhh ayt2 sains giteww), i'm left to bleed n i die eventually..=(..

humm, how's the explanation? does it help???..10q again U..

::my new family member::

hye..introducing my new family member..farhanis..she is my niece..i've not seen her face (i mean face to face)..this is the photo that introduces me to her..n this is the first time i "know" her..

bye...muacksssss..*mix feelings*

::aiemlonli::

humm..aku buhsan..skang ni ak ada kt lab GP..buhsan..ni bru nk tgk textbooks yg dh berzaman sampai..mlasssssssss..mlasss nk bt esaimen..xsukaaaaaaa....!!!!humm.

suddenly, i feel like a short stab at my heart..rsa sedih..rsa lonely..xde org nk kwan..xde org syang..hahhahaha..saiko.. i know that!!!tp sya rsa SUNYI.

humm, btw, he finally left me for good last few days..so skang ni i'm in the state of meroyan lg laaaaa...tp xpela..it's for the better.

i called my mom just now. told him about my "new" story.. know what my mom said???
"no need to cry..it's normal to live without a boyfriend. u r not going to die bcoz u don't hve boyfren"..

so, i had no point to argue..so, i just listened to her words and then suddenly i said,
"but, i'm lonely"

n then, we just kept quiet for a while n we said gudbye..xtau nk ckap apa lgi..i know, if i were to over-argue just now, mmg hrus aku nangis je kt bus stop KG itu..hahahha.saiko..yes i am saiko..

i'm bad
i'm bad
i'm bad

now, pdan muka diri sendri..bodoo!!!!!

::the value of your life time::

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:
When u LOST SOMEONE...

::hahhahha...funny..try to read it::

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on!!

::Either love or not?? ::

i've been a silent reader for this blog quite a long time..n last nite, i've found one entry that i believe it tells me more or less about love..so, i guess it will be good if i share it here..take a look::

For all you people who say, "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly!!!

Something to ponder upon...

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?? -It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her, am I right?? -It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show hIM off?? -It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want her because you know she's there?? - It isn't love,it's LONELINESS.

Are you with her because it's what everyone wants??-It isn't love, it?s LOYALTY.

Are you with her because she kissed you, or held your hand? -It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for her confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her? -It isn't love, it's PITY.

Do you belong to her because the sight of her makes your heartskip a beat?? -It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon her faults because you care about her?-It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell her every day she is the only one you think of? -It isn't love, it's a LIE.

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake? -It isn't love, it's CHARITY.

If you love someone because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't
... then it's not love.. it's ~*Compromise *~

Does your heart ache and break when she's sad? - Then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for her pain, even when she's strong? -Then it's LOVE.

Do her eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts? -Then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her? -Then it's LOVE.

Do you accept her faults because it's a part of who she is? -Then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with her faithfully without regret?? -Then it's LOVE.

Would you give her your heart, your life, your death??-Then it's LOVE.

love is also when u hv to let them go..because u believe they deserve happiness more than they hv now..

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn't want to
... that's ~*Love*~

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death ourself? Why? The answer is so simple cause it's... LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

::my family::

emm., i have to be grateful that my family members are all here..not really a real afmily, but consider them to be my family..i love them dearly and my life is full of them.heheheh..ok, i will tell you a little bit about my "family"


ok, this is my big happy family..i love them all.

this is my babah..i love him because he is always there for me..i love him because he makes me feel safe every nite when i'm sleeping. i love the way he accompanies me when i'm scared every nite.hahahhaha..meet my babah..he's red in colour..i love him.now, i always sleep with him other than my mother and ajwad..hehhehe..i feel save.








ok, this is my mother..i love mama very much..because she is so soft. i feel at ease whenver i cuddle her. she feels so close to my heart..i love her because, her body fits into mine when i cuddle her..i sleep everynite with my mama beside me..
















this is ajwad..i love him very much..but i only sleep with him, whenver i am not very tired. not that i don't like him..but he makes a lot of noises..it's similar to ajwad in reality..hahhaha..i just can't sleep properly, if i sleep with him..=)






this is faruqi..i also love him very much..but, i seldom sleep with him. his eyes are so hard and they keep banging on the wall next to my bed..so, in short, they make lot of noises.hahahhaha..but, i love him..










this is my sister.ninie. i never sleep with her. i love her, but i don't think, it will be appropriate for me to sleep with her when she already has a baby..so, i xnk ggula...but, sometimes, i do put her under my head..it helps me to get a better sleep..if not because of her, i will get a headache.hehhehe=)







it looks like my mother..doesn't it???but no..this is my x..he can never be even almost like my mother..i loved him..he was always with me. every nite i would sleep with him..i would carry him whenever i went to unilodge. he couldn't leave my side..but, recently, i'm learning to sleep without him..i have to be prepare for all the possibilities.. so, gudbye x-baby.










this is Charming.. .emm.. he used to sleep with me, whenever i felt my whole world was upside down...but, now, i'm not so sure..sometimes, i will only cuddle Charming coz i think it will be too much if i sleep with him.hahhahaha..=) ~no strings attached obviously~







this is labrador..my friend..ida..i think i share evrything with her..i love her..i know sometimes she might hate me because of my stubborness, but i know, deep down, she loves me..hahahahha..betul x dayah??ayat2 prasan ni..hehehe..but, i don't care, i love her n i will always do..








and the other animals are my friends and my cats..sorry, i mlas nk upload gmbaq lg..tp xupload gmbaq2 itu, bukanla bermksud, sy tdak syang kmu..i love you always..to jan, fat and torn, i love you all dearly..

::20 ari mencari cinta::

i like it..i love it.. i won a bet..tp sje je..buhsan..sje je aku nk gedixs2..bila single ni hormon gedixs mmg melebihi thap mencukupi..so hrusla hormon itu digunakan utk menggedixs..tp xpe je..dgan menggedixs, sya lebih gembra..hahhahahaha=) n btw, bet tu xdela pntg pun..sj bhan utk menggedixs..maaf ye, beberapa hari akn dtg, anda akn msih nmpak word gedixs ni terpapar dlam blog..kranya, skang musim gedixs la...

emm, 20 ari mencri CINTA..mna aku nk cri CINTA tu???mcm mna nk tau CINTA yg aku jmpa itu, adalah utk aku??mcm mna nk tau CINTA tu milik aku??mcm mna nk tau CINTA tumencintai aku???mcm mna??dlam msa 20 ari ni, mcm mna nk discover all things about CINTA????humm..dh tu, nobody can help me finding CINTA..bukan apa, bg aku, CINTA itu eksklusif..hnya org tertentu je boleh tau n rsa CINTA..humm, so now, aku dlam keadaan yg bengong2..aku xtau apa aku kena bt..tetiba rsa cam nk dissappear je..mlas btul aku nk pk bnda2 ni..kesimpulannya sekarang, i'm in the state of saiko+ gedixs.......n i want CINTA!!!

n lately, bnyak org keji ngan aku..kekejian ini telah membuat kn aku dh rendah diri..humm, i feel inadequate..n sumtimes, aku rsa, bnda2 camni la boleh mempengruhi keputusan aku untuk mencari CINTA..i mean, kalu ko hodoh, buruk, gemuk, hidung kembang, gajah, apa lgi???, xknla ko xnk bergantung kepada org yg sukakan ko walaupun ko adalah seperti yg diatas(buruk, hodoh, gemuk n segala la) tu????haaaaaaaaaaaa...jwab2???ada org yg nmpak kecntikkan ko walaupun org lain xnmpak???xkn ko xnk berharap pda org itu utk berada di samping ko???mcm mna tu???mcm dh wajibla, org prmpn ni, mst la slalu nk drinya dihrgai..n dia akn menghargai org yg menghargai dirinya..complex2...xsukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...nk blik!!!!


xpela..nk tdo..nwey, aku ada sweetheart jgk dlm olympic thun ni..usain bolt..aku rsa dia sexy..hahahhaha..walaupun dia hitam..tp xksahla..i loike him..ye, aku tau, taste aku terhadap lelaki sudaaaa berubah skang ni..tp xpe je aku rsa..still lelaki jgk..xdela songsang pun.hahhahaha

bye2..muackssssssssssss=)

::evil plan..hahahhahaha..but it's more like the gedixs plan::=)

heheheh..it happened when i was staying in unilodge..as usual with my two buddies, ida n jannah..as usual kalu yg evil2 ni, jan xmsuk campur..jan angel.so, hrusla aku ngn ida je bt plan gedixs ini..ok, biar aku perkenalkn karkter2 yg ada dlm plan gedixs ini..

1. mii/ aii
2. shii
3. tutriwanfor

okies..karakternya ada 3 je..sket je..n crtanya begini...mii g la umah shii..n nk dibuatkan crta diorg dua ni buhsan..so, shii ajk mii trun bwah lepak2 smbil2 tu mengutuk org..so, mii pun bersetuju jela..n nk dibuatkan crita lg, shii tertinggal kunci bilik dlam bilik..reception desk plak dh tutup sbbnya dh lewat mlam..so, shii n mii kna la bermalam kt bwah je..tp, xknla 2 org perempuan nk bermalam di tempat terbuka n bermalam kt bwah je..so, mii pun trgt tutriwanfor yg tggl di dlm stu bgunan..alkisahnya, mii ni suka tgk tutriwanfor ni..n tutriwanfor ni dikabarkan suka kepada shii..so, hrusla, 2 org perempuan itu gedixs..so, plannye, shii akn tepon tutriwanfor n ckap kunci tertinggal..so blh x kalu dieorg dua nk bermalam di bilik tutriwanfor..hahahhaha..keji okess...n msa bermalam itula mii n shii akn bt gedixs yg thap dewa dewi n mnggoda tutriwanfor..hahhahahaa..kunun2 bonding moment gitewwww.itu la plan gedixnya..tp xde la plak plan tu dilaksanakan..


tp ida n aku dh bt sumthing yg mmg ktorg xplan pun..bt prank calls..hahahha..pdan muka..kiteorg call tutriwanfor tu..tp sekadar nk dgr sore die..n bla die dh angkt, kteorg pun letak la phone.hahahha..3 kli je..xbnyak..tp itu ckup utk membtkan tutriwanfor sentappppp..hahhahaha.pdan muka..sape srh ko comel sgt.hahahhaa

bye2..muacksssssssssssss..=)

::puteri terjun::

hve u ever heard of this term???xpernah??jarang sekali??heheheh..fat is the one who invented this term few days ago..humm..n that term describes myself..hahhahaha..puteri???apakah itu??humm, bru2 ni, ak dh jd puteri..humm PUTERI GUNUNG LEDANG lg..hahhahaha..mcm mna boley jd mcm ni??humm..

ari selasa aritu, ida ada la dtg umah..mkn2, sembang, n ngumpat2 sket..n msa tgh sembang2 tu, terkeluar la ttg performance dieorg kt ekka ni..n sal tgh png psal performance tu sbbnya dancers xckopppp..so, tetiba, ada la plak otak aku ni idea yg boleyla diterima pkai..nk kta bernas xla..tp ianya praktikal la kot..kot..hehehheheh..sbb kn trian asmaradana itu xcukup tggl jg ngn zatil je..so jg kna jd puteri n zatil jd dayang la..tp mstila xcntik kn..sbbnya dia bkn odd number..lgpun nmpak skit sgt plak..nmpak mcm puteri tu xde kwan plak..n nk djdkan cerita, bla dh skit, zatil ni xnk menari..so, xknla nk biar jg menari sorg2..kesian dia,.so, cdgan aku ialah: amik je mna2 org utk jd puteri..tp puteri itu xmenari..sbb dgn short notice nye mcm mna nk blajar menari kn..and jeng jeng jeng..dgn tiba2, tnpa akus edari, aku pun jdla puteri terjun itu..mcm konon ada pakej lengkap la..xpndai menari, kayu, n available..tp kurang skit la..puteri itu HODOH...hahahhaha..aku la tu..yela..

n thun ni, bdk2 mysia kna bt performance 2 kali..iaitu pda ari rabu n sabtu..ok, ari rabu tu, as usual, aku mmg akn gelak atas stage..aku pun xtau penyakit apa..tp HRUS gelak..mcm syndrom la plak bila pk blik..kalu xde ats pentas, xde plak nk gelak..oppsss dia ni bkn syndrom ats pentas, tp depan org..humm, performance, presentation..pape je la yg terlbat ngan org...AKU HRUS GELAK...humm, teringat one time tu, kna choral speaking dpan chrt, as usual, aku yg malas ni hrusla xde part yg best2 pun, skdr menyumbang sore je la..tp itu pun aku xbleh bt..bla g depan je, aku trus xigt bnda2 yg aku dh hafal tu..n last resort, aku buka je mulut aku..buka tutup.buka tutup..n dh..dh abis..hahahha.bodoh bukan..cacat sebenarnya..tp xpela..at least aku mnyumbang jumlah org..hahahhaha..

n berbalik kpada performance kt ekka ni, for the secnd time, ari sbtu, aku dh xgelak dh..sbbnya aku dh vow, xnk gelak lg..bila gelak, it makes me looks even more hideous than before..so, dh berjanjila dlam dri xnk gelak lg..tp tggu..aku xgelak, tp aku bt bnda bodaoh lain..humm..aku as usual xtau bila nk msuk..bla jg ngn zatil kta nk msuk, msa tu la aku bru tau kna msuk..kalu dieorg xde, hrusla xtau n xmsuk..so, disbbkn keadaan aku yg ebngong itu, aku pun tergopoh2 la nk msuk..abis sume kain org aku pijak..memula diri sendri.n then zatil..astu aku rsa cam jg pun kna gak..n pjak lg kain dri sendri..ishla.............bnda pijak2 ni xselamat..kalu la xbernsib baik..dh trjtuh dh jg ngan zatil semlam..x ke malu kalu jd cam tu.eeeeeeeeeee..sufyana, ko mmg dh kna sumpahan xboleh berada di depan org..ye, sya tau..mmg sya akn jd cacat bila ada depan org..tp nape??????!!!!..

humm, kesimpulannya, msa 2 events tu, aku mmg cacat..aku mmg maluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!tp xpela..bukan ada org tau pun..i xkesah..!!!!


hehhehe..bye2..muacksssssssssss..

i love
i love
i like
i miss

=P

::i can't::

humm..i didn't pay any attention to what the lecture was babbling at that time..my mind was empty..not really actually..i had this piece of time to review myself n my life recently..and suddenly i realized i lost soooooooooo many things by having my life done this way..tears were in my eyes..but how could i cry in front of the whole class..i had to hold back all the tears..n as usual, i became the psychotic lady..hahhahaha

now, read this::::

i can't cry..
i can't be sad..
i can't be bad..
i can't be in love..
i can't do anything..
i can't see him anymore..
i can't text him again..
i can't wait for him to wish me goodnite every nite..
i can't wait for him to wish me good mrning every new day..
i can't have his pictures pasted on my walls..
i can't miss him..
i can't love him..
i can't call him whenever i feel like i do..
i can't use his phone anymore even tho it was a present for me..
i can't wear the rings anymore even tho they fit me well..
i can't ride in his car..
i can't eat with him..
i can't go out on a date with him..
i can't be hugged by him..
i can't hold his hands anymore when i cross the roads..
i can't grab his arm when i am scared to death in the cinema watching horror movies..
i can't touch his face when he has something on his lips..
i can't argue with him when i'm shopping. he's not gonna be there to stop me from buying all those new clothes that i'll be wearing just to go out with him so that i'll be looking good..
i can't eat food with green veges coz he's not gonna be here to eat whatever veges i left in my plates..
i can't have that someone who listens to anything i say..
i can't have that someone who says i am beautiful even tho i know i'm the weirdest girl ever lives on the face of the earth..
i can't have that someone who always tells me that everything's okay when it is not..
i can't have that someone who remembers all the important dates in my life and celebrates it for me..
i can't have that someone who shares one important date with me..
i can't do anything that is related to that someone
n
most importantly i can't have him...

how i wish my life is not complicated as it is now..humm.in my class, maybe i'm a "magician" but in real life..i'm nothing..emm, i guess it will be good if i were a real magician.. i know what i should perform first..of course, get myself a whole package of being brainy and gorgeous..then, i will find a cute guy who wll love me and only me...hahhahah..what a dream..tp heran apa aku..aku punya mimpi..

having your hair done is currently "HOT"=P

hehhehe..many thanks i address to my beloved fren, dayah for her time and money for accompanying me to get my hair done in brisbane hairdressing school last wednesday..hehehhe..thanx beh!!!aku tau duit itu kmu mahu guna utk kawen, tetapi disebabkan kamu mahu melayan kesaikoan rakan kamu, maka, terpaksala kamu menghabiskan duit ituuuuuuuu..hehhehehe..

humm..that was the second time i got my hair cut since the beggining of the year..i remember the first time i wanted to cut my hair, aiyoooooooooo pk beratus2 kli b4 nk g kedai tu..nk ptg ke x ek?ok ke kalu ptg?seswai ke ngan muka aku?bnyak la pertanyaan di dlam otak ini..tp last2 g jgk salon itu..nrmbut aku dipotong jua...humm..nsib baik jan teman msa ni, so xde la prasaan myesal itu tebal sngt..hehhehe..for the second time, i wanted my hair to look diffrent from the usual..lgpun, i saiko..so, hrusla get rid of something..it is like a symbolic ritual for myself if i want to forget a part of my problem..it's like a theraphy..n i think having your hair done when you're suddenly "single" does help you a bit.. it helps me!!!..hahhahaha...so, i asked ida to accompany me to the salon..last2, dia pun nk jgk...humm, so, both of us, truskanla misi untuk mendapatkan rmbut bru..haihhhhhh..lma okes.... yg peliknya aku la yg lma..terasa mcm berzaman kt salon tu..pnatla...aku yg gunting rmbut ni sma je msanya ngan ida yg gunting n warna rmbut..sakit otak aku..hheeeeeeeeee..tp ok jgkla..at least, my mind is occupied with something else. it's better to think about something else rather than "that" thing....


so now, i'm quite happy with my new hair..even though, some of my friends say that they can't seem to find any differences between my previous look..i don't mind..i'm happy, maybe a part of myself now, is in a bin.(hopefully, my misery too is in the bin)...hahhahahha..=)