::~apa yg aku bt~::

ok, let me tell you what i did for the last couple of weeks...or maybe not that long, days..

ok, the last day that i was academically-involved was last wednesday..i went to the TEAL tutorial for an hour n a half...afterward, ida, fat,ayie n me went straight to DFO..actually, i'm not being 100% honest here..i'm not academically involved that day because, my mind was somewhere else. i was thinking of my "tut", thinking of my money, thinking about the perfumes that i like n i will buy n i was definitely thinking about what n where was i going to spend all the money that i had..humm, so, being in the classroom was just an alibi for "not being there"..d'you get it???hehhehe=)

ok, last assignment that i did and i sent was TEAL-Newsletter. emm..i did about the indigenous people in Malaysia n their language needs..emm, now, at this moment of time, i know that my newsletter was a piece of crap..i just kept on writing things that were not necessary nor they had any significance for the topic...........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......i xtau..i xtau apa yg i bt..so, cam lantakla..aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...lulus sudaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

ok, last few days jgk, i had been busy with myself..yes, MYSELF..xbt apa pun..sj je mnjakan diri..bgn cam lam kul 2..ye ank dra apa ni???!!!astu, menyegak dlam bilik sorg2..n mkan mcam org afrika yg xpnah jumpa mkanan..yep..i did that n i will alwayd do it..(hahhahaha..yela skang ni, aku cam tgh best la, walaupun aku rsa aku mkn mcm han****, tp bla tmbang, xdela han**** sgt..huahuahaua)so, menu mlm ni, aku nk mkn, nsi grg n sup fishball, astu aku nk mkn spring roll,astu aku nk mkn strawberry..dh tu mlm ni fat nk msak kuih rya, hrusla aku testing bnyak2 kn..QC org kta..hahhaha..

ok, not to forget, last few days jgk la kteorg cam ada nma bru..

• ida-EVILIA
• fat-TANGELINA
• aku-ADEMONIA
• poniey-SATANIA
• emy-LUCIPHERIA or better known as kak L

ok, ni mcm nma2 kteorg d bulan pose..hakikatnya, setan2 sume dh xde, tp setan dlam diri plak yg berlambak2..so, inilaaaaaaaa hasilnya..

emm, last nite, we went to break our fast at izy, sal n ju's house..sodapppppp..mkn nsi lomak ayam goreng..muackkkkkkkk..sehingga menjilat jari n pggan okess..ok, dh bgtau td kn, perut aku besar, so aku mkn dua pggn nsi lmak beserta agar2, aym grg shja, buah n mcm2 la..haa....ni bru semgat berbuka org kta..hahhaha..as usual, ada terawih, tp aku xlarat, perut berat, so cam "OFF" jp.hahhahah..astu, kteorg dgr2 tazkirah dri ustzah salina, shah, lin, n izyan..so, cam rsa insaf jp lpas tu..astu, ckap2 plak sal lailatul qadar..astu, bla kteorg ckap dh lepas..dh jd msa mlam 21 aritu..sume org asyik tnya, ha????!!!apa???dh lepas!!!apa yg kte bt?apa yg aku bt?aku beramal x mlam tu? last2 poniey ckap, emmm...sudaaalaaaaa.kalu xingt, nmpak sgt kita dh lalai..yep..nmpknya aku dh lalai..aku xtau aku bt apa..xingt...ampun!!!!

so, itula sedikit sebanyak apa yg aku bt selama aku menyepikan diri dr blog ini..so..till we meet next time..

muahhahhahahaha..

i know you hate me..(ala2 gossip girl giteeewwwwwwwwwwwwww)=)

::~when we know, we just know~::

humm..this morning i asked fat, my hosmate,

"have u ever felt like you know that a person like you?have you ever felt like it?"
fat answered me, "yes, i do"

n i asked her, "what will you do then?"

fat answered me, "show him and anyone else like you don't care because what's important is you know yourself that he likes you. unless you are the type of girl who will always make the first move"

n i only oooed n aaaaaed..

you know he likes you but everyone else seems to not care the fact that he likes you or he pays more attention to you or he touches you more than he touches anyone else, he teases you more than he teases anyone else and he hurts you more than he will ever do to anyone else... hum..sometime, i feel like i know if someone likes me..but most of the time, i just misread the signs.humm.i'm a bit slow in this field and i guess i have less experiences with boys and that's what makes me inadequate and frequently misinterpret the signs..poor me.. i know..

but, despite the lack of experiences on my side, i just know that he likes me..like I said, when we know, we just know..i just know that he likes me..i just know that he sometimes tries to run away from me because, he is just like me..i know, we are not meant to be together..i know, there is no future for me n him n i certainly know that me n him will never be together..i just know.. we just know.. n we choose not to be together because we just do not want to create any more memories..i hate memories..they don't go awy. they stick to your brain n it's VERY impossible for you to erase it in a natural way..unless you want to go beyond the natural..go bang your head at the wall..but, i'm pretty sure that it will only make you hurt not erasing the memory..

hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!


experiences!!!come to me baby!!!.hahahhaha..=)

~this song is dedicated to U~

If u r not brave enough to try, how would u know how the story ends..

ku pernah punya cinta namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
cintaku dulu tlah kubuang jauh kini ku ingin kamu

ku pernah menyendiri di sini ku akan terasa sepi
walaupun bibir penuh gelak tawa namun hatiku sepi

jangan bilang tidak bila kita belum mencoba
siapa yang tahu akan sama hatimu dan juga hatiku
banyak yang bercinta bertahun-tahun putus juga
kuharapkan dengan dirimu walaupun singkat pendekatan
cinta kita kan abadi

ku pernah punya cinta namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
cintaku dulu tlah kubuang jauh kini ku ingin kamu

jangan bilang tidak bila kita belum mencoba
siapa yang tahu akan sama hatimu dan juga hatiku
banyak yang bercinta bertahun-tahun putus juga
kuharapkan dengan dirimu walaupun singkat pendekatan

jangan bilang tidak waktu dicium aku bingung
namun dada ini bergetar
makanya sungguh aku mohonjangan bilang tidak

Raffi Ahmad & Ayushita- Jangan Bilang Tidak

::kerusi yang bengong:::

camne aku nk explain betapa malu nye aku saat ini..msa ni..aku kunun2 sibuk n fokus terhadap asgnmnt aku yg xbergerak lgsung pun n sume org pun asyik pndg aku..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..mk tau x sbb apa?td msa aku tgh sdap2 dgr hotfm..ada lgu best la..so, aku pun tergedix2 la ats kerusi yg bengong ini.aku pusing kanan.aku pusing kiri..n msa aku pusing tu ada org pusing tgk aku..aku ingt dieorg sj2 je nk tgk..yela..aku sorg je makhluk bertudung kt sini..rupanya x..dieorg tgk aku sebb kerusi yg aku duduk ni mengluarkan bnyi pelik bla aku berpusing..eeee.sentap..pttla..dh lma aku persan ada org tgk aku setiap kali aku psuing..tp aku xtau..telinga aku dh pekak ngn musik dr hotfm ni..so, bla org tgk aku, aku pn bt muka "dunno"la..kunun, cam aku budget comel la..mgkn sbb tu dieorg tgk aku..tp, ternyata aku persan..org tgk ko sbb ko bt bising sufyana oi..bnyi yg pelik..eeee..malu!!!!bengong..so, skang, aku kna pksa pggung ak dok diam2 ats kerusi ni walau syok mnapun lgu yg aku dengaq..hauhauahuahaua..buduuuuuuuuuuuu

i've been tagged..huahuahuahua=)

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any 1 questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by and continue this game by sending it to other people.

Tagged by SITI NOR FATHIAH ZULKAFLI

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
OBVIOUSLY HIDEOUS..I MEAN MY ATTITUDES TOWARDS HIM..MYBE I WILL CURSE HIM N MOST CERTAINLY, I WILL SCOLD HIM. then, i'll cry..=(

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

I WANT TO HAVE A PERFECT LIFE. PERFECT IN EVERY ASPECT SO THAT I WON'T FIND ANY HOLE TO POKE IN.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
UMM..I HAVE NO INTENTION OF KICKING SOMEONE ELSE'S BUTT.HAHHAHA..

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
BUY A BUNGALOW.OPEN A BAKERY SHOP. PUT A LARGE AMOUNT ON MY SAVING ACCOUNT. GIVE TO MY PARENTS. SHOPPING!!!!

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?

I WOULD LOVE TO.BUT SOMEHOW, I'M JUST NOT THE TYPE OF GIRL THAT MY FRIENDS WILL FALL FOR.HAHHAHA

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I THINK BEING LOVED BY SOMEONE IS MORE BLESSED THAN LOVING SOMEONE..BUT IT WILL BE PERFECTLY BLESSED IF I EXPERIENCE BOTH.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS. I HAD WAITED FOR THAT SOMEONE FOR THREE YEARS AND I THINK WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.SO, NOW, I RATHER NOT TO WAIT..I JUST ATTACH MYSELF TO SOMEONE THAT I KNOW WILL WAIT FOR ME FOREVER.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I ACCEPT THE TRUTH AND HOPE SOMEDAY, HE WILL KNOW THAT I REALLY LIKE HIM N HE WILL REGRET FOR NOT CHOOSING ME.HAHHAHAH..KEJI..I KNOW..(U CAN CALL ME KEJI)

9. Have u ever been labeled as a snatcher?
NOPE..I'M NOT THAT "GOOD". I GUESS SO.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
LIES

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
HOPEFULLY:
1. MARRIED
2. BLESSED WITH MY HUSBAND'S LOVE
3. HAVE A CHILD
4. I WILL OPEN A BAKERY SHOP
5. I CAN DRIVE ON MY OWN.HAHHAHA
6. RICHER THAN THIS MOMENT OF TIME
7. A BIT SLIMMER THAN NOW OR MYBE JUST LIKE NOW.

12. What's your fear?
1. FEAR OF WAKING UP ALONE
2. FEAR OF BEING A FAILURE
3. FEAR OF BEING A COMPLETE BITCH..NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE BEING BITCHY..BUT IN MODERATE AMOUNT I GUESS.HAHAHHA
4. FEAR OF NOT GETTING WHAT I WANT
5. FEAR OF NOT ACHIEVEING MY DREAMS..

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
FATHIAH-->>SOFT-HEARTED PERSON.SHE MAY LOOK STRONG ON THE OUTSIDE BUT I KNOW, SHE HAS A FRAGILE HEART..JUST LIKE MINE..MOST POSITIVE PERSON EVER LIVED..OR SHOULD I SAY I'VE EVER MET..HEHHE..GEDIXS..XNK NGAKU "CHENTANYA"..HAHAHA.SORRY FAT.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
HAIH..SUSAHLA SOALAN CAMNI..MARRIED BUT POOR???I XNKLA CAMTU..TP XNK JGK SINGLE BUT RICH..BIASA2 SUDAAAAAAAAAAAA..

.
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
BEBEL SORG2..CKAP"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...MLAS LA ARINI..MLS NK BT KEJA..MLASSSSSSS.....!!!!" N THEN, BRU I BGUN.MEANING, TRUN DR KTIL LA..

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
HUMM..NOPE..IT'S NOT SAFE TO DO THAT..BETTER GIVE LITTLE AND RECEIVE MUCH THAN GIVE MUCH N RECEIVE LITTLE..SOUND SELFISH BUT IT'S JUST HOW RELATIONSHIP WORKS FOR ME..

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

HUMM..OBVIOUSLY THE ONE WHO CARES FOR ME..N THE ONE WHO FALL FOR ME TOO..IT'S NOT ENOUGH IF I'M JUST THE ONLY PERSON WHO FALLS FOR THAT SOMEONE..WE BOTH HAVE TO FALL FOR EACH OTHER. BUT IF THE TWO MEN FALL FOR ME, HAHAHHAHAHA..I XTAULA..DEDUA PUN SYG I KN..CAMNE NK PILH EK??XPENAH LG LA SETAKAT NI..

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

UMM..NOT SURE..BUT MYBE.I WON'T FORGET BUT SOONER OR LATER I WILL FORGIVE..BIAR DIA SEDAR SKET DIA DH BT KTA SKT HATI..

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
AAAA...IN A RELATIONSHIP..I XSUKE HDUP SENGSORG...

20. List 5 people to tag.
IDA
JAN
ZAIM
ZATIL
EMY
SAPE2 JE YG SUKA NK BT..AMIKLAAAAAAAAAAA

::saiko raya::

haih..tetiba rsa saiko n sentap bila aku dgr hotfm..haaaaaaaa...saiko..saiko dgr lgu rya..ishh..xleh jd ni..dh dua thun dh aku beraya kt sini..xbest.xbest..aaaaaaaaaaa...nk blik..tetiba rsa meluat dok sini..xbest..klu kt mlysia ni dh hrus g shopping dh skang..dh sibuk dh msa ni nk beli bju rya..tp skang, dh kt sini, ko nk beli bju rya apa???ha???pose pun rsa cam xpose je..xde semangat nk rya lgsung..aaaaaaa...nk blik..aku tau, skang ni, msti kt kedai2 bju dh bt sale..bju kurung, kebaya, kebarung, kerongsang, tudung,...pendek kta, apa je ko nk mst ada..kt sini xde apa lgsg..buhsannnnnnnnnnn....nk blik..teringat zaman2 giat shopping kt masjid india..eh ke apa nma tempat tu..xbrapa igt..tp ak igt stu bnda..msa g shopping tu dh letih..letih yg xlarat nk jln tu..ada la makhluk2 tuhan ni g berhent kt masjid..igtkan nk semayang..rupanya tergolek dlm masjid tido..hahhahahha..buduh betol...

n aku pun terigt berbuka pose bersama azrol..haaaaaaaaaa...rindu..aku igt lg..pg tu azrol ckap nk dtg jumpa aku n nk berbuka pose..tp pg tu jgkla aku kna sgt ngn tebuan..dh bengkak tgn..dan2 rsa nk demam..astu, dh azrol smpi, hrusla aku merengek2 sakit..padahal xde skit mna pun..hahhahah..gedixs..astu azrol bwa aku g klinik utk injection..dh skit pggung aku..dh parah n perih nk g kg.baru..haaaaa..tp gmbra..i love the moments..aaaaaaaaa...nk blik..nk blik!!!!

LAPAQ!!!!!!

::missing CICI & TAMMY::

aihh..lately, i've been searching through my folders just to feast my eyes with the pictures of my two babies..i love them very much..i want to kiss them.i love to hug them..i miss talking to them and most importantly, i miss playing with them.

their presences have made my day brighter n more precisely less boring..yes i know..i already have two dearest little brothers but "their" presences somehow make me think i can live with just them..

hehhehhee..here are my babiesssssssss..love you muah2x..tggu kak p blik tau..

this is tammy..he is my future foreteller..





cutey cutey pie>>>>cici



i love you cici

::beauty & ugly::

haih..kuasa tuhan menjadikan manusia itu cantik , kurang cantik n hodoh..

tetapi, nape cam bnyak org cantik dr org hodoh??i mean, di sekeliling aku, bnyak oje org2 cntik..rsa inferior aku..bukanla nk kta xbersyukur, tp aku sbgai sorg mnusia biasa ni, hrus ada persaan cam nk "questioning"..tp aku tau itu tdak bgus..tp mcm mna kn???

humm, aku g tgk frenster sorg kakak ni.umur almost 30..tp mak aiii..msh cantik lg..kalu xtgk umur dia aku budget dia umor 22 mcm aku jgk..tp bila tgk umur dia, cam terkejut plak..haaaaaaaaaaaaaa....xadil..dhla cntik..awet muda plak tu..dh tu bf dia mmg muka anak org kaya tu..tgk skali dh tau xkn g shppg kt mid valley ni..hrus g klcc..btul la tekaan ak..slang beberapa gmbr, gmbr dieorg dua shopping kt klcc..haih..cam ne ni???cun, nmpak muda, body mantap la, bf kacak, kaya plak tu..cam complete gitewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....mcm mna ngan aku????haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

so, skang ni, aku saiko..end of story..=)tp xpe..xkesahhhhhhhhhhhhh..

::between love, desire and security::

i have done lotsa thinking about this issue..n finally, i choose love and security over desire.

love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

desire: a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment.

security: freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence.

ok, basically the dictionary defines the words the way i define them to myself.

between the three, i choose 2. i left my desire as i think, desire won't bring you anywhere and most importantly, if you choose desire, you will not be long from being hurt..that's how i think and i believe.

so, i made my decision and i stick to my believe. i choose love because, it is VERY important for me to be loved by someone. if you are loved by someone, the chances you will get hurt is somehow reduced. i think so.

i also choose security. i do not want to feel insecure of my own feeling. so i choose the certain one and i will built on this..no matter how long it will take, i think i can..

so, this is me now. n this is how i'm gonna live my life..a bit selfish but it is CERTAIN!!!

::i won't say anything::

humm.. i won't say anything unless i really, really, really need to say it..
not that i don't care but i think you have better judgment than mine..
so, we will see about this..later..or maybe sooner

:: i read it somewhere..none of these are mine::

humm..

people close their heart and seem to shut down all the possible connections with the social world or should we call it world with love, intimacy and trust because they are afraid that if they step out from their "door", they will be on the risk of getting hurt..they are afraid of being hurt and mostly they are afraid of having to be on the edge at every second n their lifetime. you are too afraid to say that you want the "world" because you have forced yourself to accept that the current world that you live in is the most secure place of all.but, the truth is you just being too scared to open it to possibilities .n most people will also said, :"no pain, no gain". (BOOKENDS)

people are always trying their hardest to not settle for the less than best..they seem to chase the dreams that may not even come true and seem to overlook the bits of reality around them. they close their eyes and choose not to see anything that would not fit their "dream" and they blame "fate" or "destiny" for making them what they are now.. but people, i personally think that you choose what or who you wanna be..so, there's no point of pointing fingers at others if you, yourself do not want the changes.. so, stop blaming or using others as your acts of running away from what you are afraid of..if you are afraid, then you will never know how does it feel. if you are too choosy you will simply leave the best cause you will always think, they will be more than best at the end of the day..n if you do not want, don't even try to give a slightest bit of interest cause, you may break others' hearts..so, the rule is simple..you act like you want, if you want n if you don't want, you MUST act like you DON'T want. simple. i figured it myself when i made the choice.. it was a hard way to learn but blimey, it worth every pain felt and every gain earned. (SUFYANA)

::tensen!!!!::

tensen..itu je word yg boleh describe apa yg aku rsa skang..haaaaaaaaaaaaa...nk balik..msa2 ni la aku hrapa aku msih lg dlam perut ibu ku..mlas la..

1. mlas nk pk.
2. mlas nk bt keja.
3. mlas nk gerak.
4. mlas nk taip.
5. mlas nk bca.
6. mlas nk ckap omputih.
7. mlas nk g kelas.
8. mlas nk mandi.
9. mlas nk pki bju.
10. ,las nk pkai tudung.
11. mlas nk skat rmbut.
12. mlas nk pki losyen.
13. mlas nk pki conditioner.
14. mlas nk bwa beg.
15. mlas nk amik duit.
16. mlas nk msak.
17. mlas nk makan.

mlassssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!

ok, keynote sekarang adalah MALAS..

tp ada jgk bnda aku rjin..tp bila rjin part ni, xde membawa sebarang kebaikan pun..

1. rjin mkan.
2. rjin tgk tv.
3. rjin gosip.
4. rjin msg.
5. rjin call.
6. rjin buang masa.

humm..tgk..xde sebarang kebaikan pun bila aku rjin utk bnda2 cam ni..

humm..skang ni aku malas nk blik umah..logik x??malas nak blik sbb mlas nk jlan, mlas nk trun tangga,mlas nk tggu bas, mlas nk tjk tiket kt driver, mlas nk tkan loceng.mlasssssssssssssssssss..ye, smpi thap tu aku pnya mlas..tp kna blik..sbb ptg ni ada discussion..tp mlas nk blik awl..klu blik awl kna tggu berbuka..yg tu pun aku mlas jgk....

::Popia Sardin::

hehhehe..slogan kta

"Sardines Can't Never Go Wrong"

hehhehe..itula motto aku starting from now..hahhaha..aku hepi sebab popia yg aku bt dh jd..so sbgai bukti kegembiraan aku tu, aku bt popia sardin dua hari berturut2..hahhahaha..GILA..ye aku tau..tp tula kan..bila kte ni slalu msak xsedap n bla kita msk sumthg n sedap, hrusla kta nk msak lg bnda tu..btul x???begitu jgkla aku..hahhahahhaa..aku xkra..aku mmg suka popia sardin itu..hahhahaha..

tp kn, aku xdela msak sardin tu sgt pun..sbb bln2 pose ni, deria rsa aku xbrapa berfungsi sgt..ida cam kta kt aku, "beh, rsalah beh sardin tu..tp jgn telan"..humm, rsa tp xtelan????mustahil bg aku..sbb aku mmg xpndi bt mcm tu..bla aku rsa mcm ida srh rsa tu, aku xrsa pape pun..so cam mustahil la bg aku utk msk sardin tu kn..jan, ida n fat yg msak sardin utk kedua2 ari..tp aku xkra..aku nk jgk kredit for making popia sardin sbb aku yg gulung..hahahhaha..

umm, nk tunjuk bukti pun xde dh..dh xsempat aku nk amik gmbr..dh msuk dlm perut popia itu..hahhaha..so, even without the pic, ykinla dgn kebolehan aku utk memasak (errr..actually menggulung) popia sardin..=)

hehehhe..humm..juadah bebuka arini mcm nk bt cucur keria n ayam bbq..=)
xkurus pun bulan pose ni..makin gajah lg ada la..tp xksah..i'm happy..

::u now me better than i do myself::

ida, u know me better than i know myself..

heheheh..thank u for the careful observation that u've made..nwei, aku nk gtau, aku mmg gedixs pun..

u know me too well to have overlooked that part..hahahha..

::he makes her cry ONCE again::

he makes her cry again..
he makes her feel devastated once again..
he makes her feel unwanted once again..
he breaks her heart once again..
he breaks her trust on him..
so she does cry once again..
for the love she once had, was the unrequited love..

he made her fell for his false promises..
he made her believed he would wait for her
he made her believed that she would always has him by her side..
but now, he makes her cry once again for all the things he said to her were all just lies..

n he makes her cry again on the first day of Ramadhan for he tells her "LET'S JUST END IT"
n it really hurts her feeling and really makes her cry once again..
n she asks herself how many time can her heart break for all she knows she only has one..