have you heard about this phrase??um.recently, i have heard enough of this phrase..everywhere i go it seems to me that i will meet with this phrase..i've done some thinking n i thought maybe it is a sign that i should be doing the same..emm..maybe i am a bitch but not to the persons who are dear to my heart..i guess after all i'm just a bitch-to-be.hahhaha...
..i've been thinking about this matter not only tomorrow or last week but i guess it's all over my mind since 3 months ago..i've been thinking of being fair to this person (A) who is so nice n good to me..not that i don't like A, but i feel A deserves someone better as i do not feel as much as what A feels towards me. so, i want to set the record straight..no more injustice being done to other human being because of my selfishness..but, just to think about doing it, it reaps my heart badly as i know, if i am the one who calls and put an end to this relationship..it's not fair because i guess i am the one who builts it. it's built almost four years ago in the basic of using A in order to forget somebody else.it's not fair to A as i am the one who should be responsible in making this r/ship works but at the end, i am the one who wants to withdrawn from it..not that i don't love him, but i finally know that i love him and i just realise that i am being cruel to him for letting him believe that i love him all along since 4 years ago..i just love him last year. .but this year i'm starting to feel that he wasn't the one for me.n most importantly, i don't deserve to be with him. A can find a much much much better girl than me if i give him the opportunity to do so..
so the problem is now, that i have the realisation, it's so hard for me to tell him that i want to end the r/ship..i know he will be hurt if i say this to him n i know the way that karma thingy works...humm..so i guess, for this matter it will be better if he is the one who hurts my feeling. he is the one who cheats on me.he is the one who turns his back on me. n seriously speaking, i prefer to be the suffering one. i guess, maybe it will only be fair, if i am the one who feels the pain because after all, i'm the bad one..
so, at this point of time, i really do not know what to do..i love him but i cannot lie to him anymore. i should set him free n if there is a word called 'jodoh' between the two of us, then the two of us, should really be together whenever or wherever we are destined to..so, for now, i don't know!!!!!!!!!!should i be cruel to be kind????
bye..muacksssssss
..i've been thinking about this matter not only tomorrow or last week but i guess it's all over my mind since 3 months ago..i've been thinking of being fair to this person (A) who is so nice n good to me..not that i don't like A, but i feel A deserves someone better as i do not feel as much as what A feels towards me. so, i want to set the record straight..no more injustice being done to other human being because of my selfishness..but, just to think about doing it, it reaps my heart badly as i know, if i am the one who calls and put an end to this relationship..it's not fair because i guess i am the one who builts it. it's built almost four years ago in the basic of using A in order to forget somebody else.it's not fair to A as i am the one who should be responsible in making this r/ship works but at the end, i am the one who wants to withdrawn from it..not that i don't love him, but i finally know that i love him and i just realise that i am being cruel to him for letting him believe that i love him all along since 4 years ago..i just love him last year. .but this year i'm starting to feel that he wasn't the one for me.n most importantly, i don't deserve to be with him. A can find a much much much better girl than me if i give him the opportunity to do so..
so the problem is now, that i have the realisation, it's so hard for me to tell him that i want to end the r/ship..i know he will be hurt if i say this to him n i know the way that karma thingy works...humm..so i guess, for this matter it will be better if he is the one who hurts my feeling. he is the one who cheats on me.he is the one who turns his back on me. n seriously speaking, i prefer to be the suffering one. i guess, maybe it will only be fair, if i am the one who feels the pain because after all, i'm the bad one..
so, at this point of time, i really do not know what to do..i love him but i cannot lie to him anymore. i should set him free n if there is a word called 'jodoh' between the two of us, then the two of us, should really be together whenever or wherever we are destined to..so, for now, i don't know!!!!!!!!!!should i be cruel to be kind????
bye..muacksssssss
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