emm. just a few days ago, i have made quite a big decision regarding my life..now, i'm still in the heat of that decision. trying to move away from what i've used to do in my life not an easy things to do.. i still need a bit of time in adjusting myself to fit in the current situation that i'm in..few glitches are inevitably avoided...if i still miss him every nite before i fall to sleep, i can't help it..if i still be waiting for his msg every day and nite, i can't help it too..this is just a new thing to me..i still need time to fit myself in that situation. people do mistakes, so do i..
i'm in the wrong side..i'm the bad one..so you dun have to look at me with those sympathetic eyes..just be yourselves, like you were before this..i'm not asking, anyone to pay extra attention to me.. it wasn't in my plan to be the center of attention.n certainly, i'm not the center of attention.
this break/clash/ separation or whateva u may call it, is the best time for both of us to learn about ourselves.i need time to discover my true feeling for him.. if he has already known his feeling, that doesn't mean that i too have the same feeling. is he is certain about me, that doesn't certainly true, that, i'm too certain of having him in my life..i know, 3 yrs and few months, mybe quite a long period of time for me to make such decision only now.if not now, when can i be free to think about myself, this relationship and also him??if i were to wait for another year, it will only become worst because then, it will be 4 yrs..how abt that?does it make sense to what i'm trying to do now???mybe it's just my mistake not to do this earlier.but only now i have the courage to do so..i'm willing to let him go for good, if he really isn't the one for me..i'm willing to take the path where i have to be lonely in order to know myself and what my true feelings are..
and sincerely, i do not blame any of my friends who short to judge me abt this matter..they are there for me when i need them and i'm so grateful for that. they always be there for me to support me for whateva decision i made, make or may make..but, i can really tell, they are quite disagree with what i've done now..i'm sorry dear friends..maybe you are right, i'm not grateful for what i had and i'm a complex person..maybe..n if i were in you places, i will think the same too..
if what i've written in this entry may bring hurts to your heart, i sincerely apologize for that..i'm truly are..maybe i'm not so good with words, but this is the way that i can express my feeling..but, know that, deep down i love all of you...
i'm in the wrong side..i'm the bad one..so you dun have to look at me with those sympathetic eyes..just be yourselves, like you were before this..i'm not asking, anyone to pay extra attention to me.. it wasn't in my plan to be the center of attention.n certainly, i'm not the center of attention.
this break/clash/ separation or whateva u may call it, is the best time for both of us to learn about ourselves.i need time to discover my true feeling for him.. if he has already known his feeling, that doesn't mean that i too have the same feeling. is he is certain about me, that doesn't certainly true, that, i'm too certain of having him in my life..i know, 3 yrs and few months, mybe quite a long period of time for me to make such decision only now.if not now, when can i be free to think about myself, this relationship and also him??if i were to wait for another year, it will only become worst because then, it will be 4 yrs..how abt that?does it make sense to what i'm trying to do now???mybe it's just my mistake not to do this earlier.but only now i have the courage to do so..i'm willing to let him go for good, if he really isn't the one for me..i'm willing to take the path where i have to be lonely in order to know myself and what my true feelings are..
and sincerely, i do not blame any of my friends who short to judge me abt this matter..they are there for me when i need them and i'm so grateful for that. they always be there for me to support me for whateva decision i made, make or may make..but, i can really tell, they are quite disagree with what i've done now..i'm sorry dear friends..maybe you are right, i'm not grateful for what i had and i'm a complex person..maybe..n if i were in you places, i will think the same too..
if what i've written in this entry may bring hurts to your heart, i sincerely apologize for that..i'm truly are..maybe i'm not so good with words, but this is the way that i can express my feeling..but, know that, deep down i love all of you...
1 comment:
sufi gedix nyer!!!!!!!!
Post a Comment